So Tally Dead Dead and I were discussing what the weeks all about.
I think Sunday is like torturous early labor, Monday is like the birth, and Tuesday is the horrific pointless afterbirth. Gross, good God, why did you make Tuesdays. Or Ruby Tuesdays for that matter. Imagine being so bum that you are a notch below TGI Fridays in the chain restaraunt pecking order. Hi I'll have the goat cheese fiesta hotdog bites to start. And the shits for dessert.
I always have lame Tuesdays, it's like a universal rule.
Wednesdays are my astrologically in tune days. Never a prob.
Thursdays are why-can't-I-just-call-out-tomorrow days and Fridays are Fridays. Awes.
Tally is probably the best person to have this conversation with though because hes she a creep.
Originally his name was Twirl, but that kind of moniker wears off easily. Tally has been calling me Precious lately, or just Presh. I'm into it. He thinks I will hate it but he's wrong like always.
Tally used to tell the best stories about unloading trucks for a living. He lives in some podunk town in Pennsyltucky and is maybe the raddest thing to come out of the woods since Grendel.
He makes everyone laugh what with his slow mo winking and awkward joke delivery.
The first time he came to my mums in jersey we tried to start fires in the yard and we ate stir fry.
We also found out we speak in a similar retardo language and laughed about salt and pepper shakers the size of garden statues.
Tally looks like Holocaust Jesus but hes way less intense than the image projects. He's like a burst of dandelion scented wind passin through. He shows up in Chinatown eating raw chef Boyardee raviolis babbling about about making music out of old tape recorders, twigs and string.
Tally likes to drink rum and cokes and rubs it in my face that they are about 75 cents at these townie bars he frequents in PA. Sometimes I have to hear about him tripping balls and discovering the universe like a fucking mushroom yogi.
Tally annoys me so much sometimes I just want to break off his Olive Oil legs and beat him with them but then again he's the best thing to ever have found me on the internet. He is such a genius at being alive. Like not actually DOING anything, but having all this stuff to talk about anyway.
And ya can't tap thee-at.