Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Andys!

I have few great fears.
One that I openly discuss is colossal squid. Another is walking to the bathroom to pee in the night and being attacked by a gigantic wolf in the hall.
Two very unnecessary phobias.
Another fear is boredom. Done and done, we all think being boring or being amidst the boring is horrific. Nuff said on that.
But seriously, when I go to get a haircut...i am AFRAID. I really honestly think the hairdresser will just forget that I said ONE INCH and go to town on my mermaid woodland creature mess. Then I will have to do two things:
1. berate the hairdresser until they look like they will cry.
2. start crying myself AS I berate them, then uncontrollably flee from said salon.

Point is, I want to be a girl-boy. People have been doing it for so long. i really wish I was free enough to know my hair doesn't make me. Nor does my lady ass (which is awesome, I have to say)
If I don't wear mascara to a bar, people will not throw up upon first sight of me.
If I want to, I should wear boys shoes because I like feeling like a horse clomping around.
Being sporty and hilarious and smart should not be words I am afraid to use when I describe myself.
Historically, humans have always been enamored with girl-boys and boy-girls.
Androgyny is by far the most beautiful thing in the universe.
I have always loved a man with long viking hair and twinkly eyes. Grr.
And girls with strong little boy bodies and fitted hats. Tssss!
It's in our blood for sure.
Alchemists, Christians, Kabbahlists, Hindus, Ancient Greeks, get real. They knew.




Ancient pepaw times aside, look at fucking pop culture. That horrid shit spewing fagbag Chris Crocker became famous just because he has frosted hair and wears mad lip gloss. Guhh. People just love looking at those things, it's amazing.And if you can bear to admit it, that bitch is hot. HeShe looks like a fucking retarded Skipper doll in only the best way.
And Crocker is like the margarine of the androgyny tasting tray.
Totally nasty cheap processed boring waste.
American culture has seen some godly andys traipsing around.
David Bowie, Annie Lennox, Mick Jagger, Prince, Grace Jones, etcetera etcetera.
Whatever, just look at this random kid. I have no idea what that is, but it is breaking my heart in 400 hundred pieces of cuteness fragments.


And my personal favorite, the perfect contemporary hot bitch:
(getting. on. tappa. yas.)

Obv Sam West photography.
Shut up all of you, I know, it's getting old but she's seriously a piece and a half.

In conclusion, this was all very gay of me.
xo.

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