More Hot Garbage

Everyones favorite Polish Prince, Mr Adrian Kondratowicz has been featured in the New York Times for TRASH.

Its a lovely read:

Great Job!

Adrians determination and optimism is unmatched really.
And no, do not ask me to set you up with him because he has a super hot African girlfriend whom none of us can possibly compete with.
But hes a great man, great artist, great mind, so get with it...

Please join him (and me because I will be there fingers crossed)
and get your mind around the idea that all things carry a beauty of their very own.
Art Everywhere fools.



If you don't come, they are going to eat your flesh.

curb sandwich.

I love surprise texts.
I was sitting around feeling like a total douche Saturday night, watching Dances With Wolves with a bunch of 22 year old dudes. Yes, it is one of the best movies ever. Yes, it sounds sort of dreamy to be surrounded by boys as long as they are over 16 and under 45.
But I was having a vodka :::Really???:::: and I was getting sleepy and grumpy. Also, Subletter Eric had some amazing curry thing from Jaya delivered and I was jealous and bitter as all getup. He sat next to me eating it all happily internally gloating. Asshole.
Erics not an asshole hes a black nerd. One of my absolute favorite classes of human. And his girlfriend is funny. English funny. None of that is the point.

Surprise texts.
So Male Model Adrian texts me: what are you doing?
We don't text eachother. Thats where the whole !surprise! thing comes in. He and Fan were at Santos around the corner having some drinks and inquired if I would be joining them.


Yes, in fact I would, because I had already asked DJ Tight Pants to put me on the list.
What could be better than not paying to go in some stupid place?
Answer:
Not paying for drinks once you are there!
These things occur for me so seldomly because I don't really go out enough. I mean I DO, but not in that way. I have no idea what I'm saying.

Mr Rapin was bartending upstairs, and the few moments of awkwardness were totally worth it because I like free drinks more than anything in the world, and I suppose you could use the word Friends to describe our interpersonal sitch at this point. Do I sound bitter? I don't mean to. Seriously. I'm not.

I don't want to talk about It.

Whats It? Everything that ever in my life made me look/feel foolish because of my girly girl feelings.

This post is about two things. The first thing, I am done talking about which is my surprise text which led to Santos with Adrian, Fanbaby, and my darling Ames.
Sidenote: I like Santos and I want to go back and dance. Because it has lots of room for that. Also the people there were weird. Gay bear daddies and pretty ladies and brooklyn folk and all kinds of non related humanity. Social algorithms~

So the other topic.
Adrian. Not just a male model. Actually I don't think he has been for like, years. That's how I am. I disrespect people by pigeonholing them. I'm sorry Adrian. You are no longer a pretty face.
you are now Garbage Man Adrian.
Lemmesplain.

Adrian made these trash bags, pink with white polka dots. Maybe you have seen them, they are hard to miss.
I was reserved at first to jump on the bandwagon like, "Hey wow what an amazing art piece genius brain birthing"
Reason?
First of all, tons of people do conceptual art that mixes in with the reality of our living space. And I'm never impressed. Wow, you threw paint on a sign somewhere and blared an air horn next to it every day at 7pm. Go fuck yourself. I just made that shit up right now and it took some artist 4 months developing the theory and 8 months to make it happen. Then they want to tell you what it means.
It means you had a bunch of crap ideas but this one seems the most capable of blowing the minds of the idiotic public.

Post rant:

This is not what Adrian did at all.

First of all, the pink trash bags all lined up look like a little army of tranny piglets by the streets edge.
I like it.
Secondish, darling Adrian actually has the follow thru to hire people to bag up EVERYTHING already on the street and put it in his bags. AND basically throw little parties on the days he does it.
Genius?
Maybe.
Thirdish, most importantly, the bags are totally cutting edge. yes I said cutting edge. Like the movie with the ice skater and the hockey player! They fall in love even though they are soooooooo diff! Not kidding at all that is one of the great love stories of our time. I wish I was watching it right now.


Trash bags.
They are cutting edge.
They are biodegradable.
Big deal.
Why?
Oh because all other fucking trash bags ARENT.
Thats not sarcasm, they seriously arent.
They just hang out in the universe for a couple hundred years.
Non fiction.

Basically babyboy made this:

"Its made out of 100% biodegradable PVC that is naturally scented to repel insects and vermin. The scent is peppermint bubble gum"



I feel like that horrible guy, the one who sells things on infomercials, he started on the OxyClean tip, but he now covers all kinds of bases.
I feel like thats the vibe I'm putting out there.



I just think Adrian did a really great job.
And is still.
Hello art+beauty+saving the earth+being handsome+having garbage parties+being my friend=glory.
I love math.

I also just ate the hugest salad I have ever eaten in my life. I make really good dressing.

Lets not talk about me.

I realize now that doing shit to show you care about Earth is fucking cliche for out generation. GREEN GO GREEN GREEN. Green? Yes green. Lets do everything green because we have become our own catch phrase we are idiots are consumers.

But seriously biodegradable shit is the shit so there.
Im so eco whateverthefuck.


Further information for those of you who like being smart. Also for those of you who like to be on the scene. TRASH was in New York Magazine so you're cooler if you like it. Hows that for incentive assholes.

TRASH in SoHo // Dinner at Lahore
Thursday July 10
5pm - till the trash is picked up
$1 chai and $1 samosas
$10 TRASH

Installation in Base White and Oriyomi Gold TRASH bags
Sculptures throughout SoHo
Corridor on Prince St.

Dinner at 8pm
Lahore // 1st retail location for arp TRASH bags
132 Crosby St, b/w Prince and Houston


Site::::
www.anycoloryoulike.biz

nothing to see here.

Its official.
Katie and I are no longer just buddies we are roomies.
We shall start it right today watching my people the Dead Rabbits kick some Native ass. Gangs of New York forevs.
Didi and Leo ugh the sex. The sex. Men are awesome.




So yeah, I definitely want to get my travel on.
I still heart New York, no shit statement.


Frau Lisa was here from Berlin being hilarious and euro avant garde.



Cheeky.


We had a pretty fantastic weekend, new friends are boss.
We did the whole Good World thing Friday and thank god there were some amusing folks there.
A certain hilarious sassy jew blessed us with his presence and I guess I drank a lot and ended up licking faces and acting straight retarded.
Joke of the day came from Mr Berel when he told us that he likes to fuck with homeless girls cause when you're done you can drop them off anywhere.

Lisa also told me that we live like bums in New York and that no one lives like that in Berlin. So basically I'm jealz. I want health insurance and affordable housing too.
C'mon.

Somehow I ended up sticking it out at Good World for awhile and sitting at a table with some girls and chatting them up so I could eat their bread. I really love the bread there. The dip is sublime.

Saturday Frau, Sam, Petit and I went way uptown to Adrian's housewarming.
What a schlep.
I would totally move up there if the man of my dreams made me an honest woman and wanted to have some babes. They could run around up there in some giant apartment for about 1500 a month. It's pretty genius. I just need someone to fall in love with me first, nbd.

It's really amazing to hang out with models. The snacks were miniscule brownies, fennel, and rice cakes. Seriously? Yes, quite.
I guess I got drunk again and sat around in the dimmest lighting is history. Posh!
The apartment is fucking fantastic but I would rather be dead then take the train to 125th every goddamn day. So thats what I found out. You can wait for the D for about 25 minutes and want to blow your brains out, thats the cost of Harlemworld for real.
Thankfully Petit was there to amuse with all sorts of stories about her dad being racist and her grandma being horny.




Laughing is the most beautiful thing in the entire world. I want to laugh and get back rubs for the rest of eternity and also sometimes make out.


I also want to go back in time and be Dead Rabbit.
Sigh.
I just don't really want to smell like them because they bathed a full 4 or 5 times a year.
Musk!
Imagine their crotches! Or don't.

Booze.

I tried to stay away.
i had a killer hangover all day yesterday, it was all the sugar in rum and cokes. Nast.
So I got some pepto bis and sucked it up. I finally got to wear my boob dress, I'm super proud of myself for showing off my rack for once.
So off to BK again I was, Sam Nicole Murph and I got a driver who had no idea which way was up basically. first day on the job. it took seriously 25 minutes to get to Park Slope. Bullshit I tell you.
But Steph had laid out the goods for the holiday and I was super stoked on her brownies. YUM? Yeah.
So I got nicely shitty and hung out with fantastic people, I missed seeing ladies like Biancanater and Kaitlin AKA cutest person ever to live. Neckface was sick and blamed it on AIDS. I invented a new word, Sniffalis. (aherm syphillis)
Farmer needed a shower and Stephanie was bouncing off the goddamn walls. Nothing new.
There was a super hot Asian there who looked like Ruffio from Hook. That was rad. RU-FI-OOOOOOOOO!
Jiwon brought her very loud dog Frankie and Corrine the Jew had Merry XMas bling on. Isn't she racy?!
Rafael took a picture I would really like to get my hands on of all of us ladies with pipe cleaner mustaches. For some reason I had a brownie mustache. That sounds gross but it's totally not. I ate it and Bianca said I'm disgusting. Shut up Bianca.
Then Polish Thunder Supermodel Adrian and i took off to find a dance floor back on the island. I think our goal was 205 or something equally gayish but we ended up eating amazing Pakistani food with smelly cabbies on Crosby. YUM.
Adrian is THE perfect gentlemen, fellers take a lesson. Not only is he a total piece of ass, but he's super sweet and smart. And has fantastic manners.
We strolled and saw a very homo dance party going on in some giant loft with floor to ceiling windows. The door to the building was wide open so we crashed and danced like Europeans for awhile.
There were empty bottles everywhere but not a drop to drink. Bullshit. Who cares it was a dope spot and they played a few of my jams. Adrian loves dancing more than any dude I know. At one point he did a pick me up spin me around move which was totally 80s teen movie of him. What a fucking trip he is. Lub it.
Anyway we passed out at some point and all is well in the morning. I drank mad Gatorade. RIP my dude, I wanna get on tappa yas!
Dr Robert Cade foreva