Friday, December 14, 2007

Happy Endings. Accurate.

So I just got home from Brooklyn and boy is my liver tired.
Super Stephanie put me up at her crib after a night of mayhem.
To begin, all parties should start at 7 pm sharp. It totally makes the night seem endless in a good way.
I get to the Playgirl party at Happy Endings with wet boots and a shitty attitude. Typical.
There's a line. Already. At 7:20.
Just what I need, a girl in line behind me from Canada (of course) starts talking to me about sexy fiction novels having bad endings and "beefcakes". Ugh. What a Canadian.
Anyway, as soon as I walk in I see my gal Corrine looking banging as usual and the ever smiling Felicia. Thank God I don't find her zest for life irritating.
So Felicia is somehow drunk already which is hilar. I go to the bar and the only free shit is some weird Tennessee rum. OOOOOOOOK. Needless to say, pour me a glass lackey, my gullets dry.
So I'm getting drunk as quickly as possible and Corrine nearly passes out which was not cool. That vasovagal response shit is no joke. Poor booski. Whatever, she's fine. Love you.
So Sterp and Chiara and Denise and Jiwon appear and that was great. Good crowd ladies.
Some old smelly fat guy was dancing like a maniac for the whole 3 hour party. He sucked by the way. He seriously also smelled like shit. Then with Chiara as my wingman I stuck a poster of a naked dude with a xmas ball hanging from his dickhole on some guy's back. That made me laugh!
So all in all, it was a good sitch. By the way, I hate downstairs at Happy Endings. That shit makes me feel like I'm tripping. Those lights and the tiled wall creepsville.
At the end of the swaree we got some goody bags and guess what I got?! A glittery pink vibe! Word.
I also decided to bring home a copy of the issue so when my heterosexual subletter comes here Jan. 1 I can make him slightly uncomfortable when he goes into the bathroom.
Yay Jokes!

So then we go to see Red Ed at Galapagos in BK. There was some misteltoe party. I never get smooched. I hate BK, but I love Stephanie so I let her boss me around sometimes. I missed the balls out of her these last couple months. True story.
Anyway theres a cover at Galapagays so Corrine and Chiara bounce. And Felicia the Shaderican doesn't pay she just asks to go to the bathroom and dude lets her slide I guess. Aw, Felicia so cute. I get a lot drunker, theres some asshole bands and Denise and Stephanie and I have much fun. We take some holiday pictures with the worst photog ev. I switch over to vodkas and I'm in the danger zone,but no big deal.
Denise makes me laugh. I try to guess everyones zodiac sign, which means I'm housed. I get most of them right except this white supremacist looking dude who bought me a drink. For some reason that annoyed me so I told him he had a receding hair line and that we all hate Sagitarius.
According to Stephanie the night ended with me laying on the wet sidewalk and Denise following suit. Then Mommy Porto put us in a cab and I snuggled up to her all night long. Yay!
I awoke to this at 730 am:

I'm excited for this homemade Chex Mix and brownies. And booze. Girlfriend throws a good holiday party. I wish Libby wasnt in gay Pareee (ahem Paris) because it won't be the same without her.

I think I should hurry up and marry Sterp before some idiot gets their hands on her.
Then she and I and Lucy can live happily ever after the end.

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