Monday, December 31, 2007


I love how people want to be the topic of blogs. There are liiiiike ehhhhhhhh 20 of you reading this?
Th most interesting thing in the world is finding out what other people think of you. Esp when it starts with....

Amelia is rad.

I just got really distracted. the orange penis-licking cat in the "yard" is fuckin howling and I can't think.

I'm back.
So. Amelia.
She's rad.
I don't remember us meeting back in the days of yore but I really think we did. Maybe at Home Sweet Home. Or some shithole in Brooknah. Likely.
Anyway, that being said, Sterp put me Amelia and Josh in a "chat" together (instant messenger fags unite)
The rest is very amusing history.
We talk about very new agey things, Miss Burns and I.

We both love tarot readings and making up character voices. Amelia does a great impression of lots of things. Sober. She's basically me. Sober. Imagine theeeat!
Did I mention she's sober? Rad. i usually hate sober people because I'm both bored by them and jealous of them. But tisnt the case here.
So anyway she was recently in the city before moving to L Gay (otherwise known as Los Angeles land of a thousand dbags)
Amelia wears raggedy white cowboy boots and fuzzy ponchos. With mad spandex underneath.
She has a distinct charm and an unmatchable ability to NOT be annoying when singing Summertime during a karaoke sesh.
She is overtly sexual yet able to come off exactly the opposite of skanky. Skillz.
She dances and smiles and brings cheer. If the Mickey Mouse Club wasn't so god awful I would say she could lead the troop.
Mrs. Burns takes pictures that are not that flattering but that just shows her fantastic humor. And she seriously sees the world in this super great way that I haven't managed to figure out just yet.
I would get on tappa her if I could.
But we're more like sisters so that would be incest.
I'm down with a lot of shit but ew. Nerp.
I asked her to send me pictures of us doing stuff together. It took her like....2 weeks. What a flake. A flake I want to rest on my shoulder. And never use dandruff shampoo.
I mean that.

not me and Ms Burns, but shouts to Sterp.

Ok, so basically I'm the flake and I don't want to post any other ones.
I'm having one of those days.
What days?
I don't know get off my case.

Here's a nice little snapshot Amelia took of my burning Josh's snow genitals with my cigarette.

In conclusion, tomorrow is New Years Eve and I wish Amelia was here with me.
But thats ok because she lives in a little fairy hut built into this thing under my rib cage. Called my heart.

Tap theat!

I'm really inspired by Ms. Burns and I wish we could do one of three things:
1. run a hippie commune together.
2. be a comedy team
3. start a conceptual band based on our love for eachothers spirits. When I say conceptual I mean over your heads. Suckers.

Do I love Amelia?
Is it a little creepy?
But the important thing is, it's mutual.
That's what its all about.
And when I am with her I feel like an ecstatic crack baby.

PS. New Years Update:
Sterp will be working the party at Studio B.
I think I hear something.
It's just the sound of the angels crying. Joyous joyous tears.
Free booze becomes possible if you just believe. It's kindve like Peter Pan "I can fly" but for grown ups with issues of minor alcoholism.


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