This morning around 7:30 I went into the bathroom to shower and I looked in the mirror and all I saw emblazoned in my mind was
"you catch more flies with honey"
Hence my morning post.
What in the holy hell would make that be my first sensical thought of the waking day?
I have been known to spout really long insane dream interpretations as a reflection of my slumber, but pepaw life lessons? Not oft.
Even stranger, I am not the nicest person around. I have never been one to say that being a peach gets you everywhere. I am much too brutally honest to spend time sugar coating. I would rather just tell it how it is and risk a good ol' punch in the head.
At the very least, it's a hilarious story for future use.
Who was the granny in the mirror this morning thats what I wanna know.
So I thought about it, more subconciously than anything.
I took the kiddies to the park and it was blustery. There were these families just hanging out, being alive, whatever families do. There were hip dads, which are the new hip moms, which are the new CEOs and secretary fuckers. I enjoyed observing. I twirled around on the tire swing for awhile, nothing much happened. Ate some lunch, drew a book with Susu that we titled Monsters Sure To Scare You. Watched some Curious George, took the bus home....nothin. I even listened to Annie Lennox on the bus home. Really? Yes. I could not get to my inner cupcake.
Not a fucking INKLING about why anyone should bother sweetening up for the sake of humanity. I love people, I really do, especially smart, funny, loyal, charming, sincere ones.
So I watched some episodes of Lost, started writing a blog about this art I really like, of cellular photography. What? No, that wasn't the point of today. The point was, why in the world did my heart tell me to catch more flies with honey? I am such a piece of shit, I don't get my own thoughts, no wonder people are flabbergasted by my crap theories and assumptions. Self loathing! Awes!
JK JK JK I'm golden, ask my mom.
Then it just came to me out of nowhere at all.
There are people I have grown to care for leaving the city. There are people who make me smile and laugh going away, and what is more awful than that?
But, its not awful. Its only awful if I try to hate them for going.
Its awful if I hurt them before I can boohoo boohoo about their departure.
Not to be all Terms of Endearment/Steel Magnolias/chick flick vomit town, but its true.
If I want to be happy, I have to take what I can get and be fucking sweet about it.
Bitterness tastes like shit.
Everybody knows that.