Thursday, December 18, 2008

the flower not the high school massacre

Then this happened:

AIM IM with turksey.
4:37 PM
Krissy: whats thenews
it's the new call me
Krissy:oh great
my new thing is Oh hai.
even when you arent surprised.
and also.
'last time i checked'
but not ever checking

Hi JJ I'm glad we're friends.
Also I think Conrad made up that whole awesome news thing.
So whatever.

Last night I went to that gallery on Broome to see Piece Process.
It was pretty intriguing.
There was the option of wheat beer or rye beer.
Samantha thinks the rye tasted like organic shampoo.
Right on.
Too bad I'm allergic to wheat because that beer was pretty yummies.

That is what Olivia looks like drinking it, in case you were wondering.
I think that picture might annoy Olivia but thats too bad because I think she looks like some hot bitch who once lived in France with an older successful man who speaks seven languages, has always had gray hair, and is only attracted to women with green eyes and toned calves.

If you want to imagine what some of the (worse) pieces on display looked like, reference this photograph:

This is some conceptual art installation I made with a 2 year old at work.
Take that as you will.
Katie and I walked really slowly around the gallery about 4 inches from the wall talking shit about 50 percent of the work. The other 50 percent we wanted to buy.
Then Katie looked like she was going to sleep.

This piece of dumb was on the wall with the Warhol and Basquiat and other famous shitty shit. I like it but don't want to admit it because that would be cliche of me.

Sammy saw this and said
That is the size of my future husband.
Please try to imagine that.
Look at his tiny useless legs.

We really didn't stay long.
We left to go 169 Bar which I hadnt been to in ages. Ages meaning literally years.
This is how far ahead Jiwon and Denise walked.

I think they were playing a game called 'how fast can we get there and how secretly'
Also looking at this I notice the absolute staggering amount of rubbish.
There is truly shit everywhere downtown.
It looks like we live in the Hoovervilles.
For those of you who slept through high school, those are the shantytowns built by travelers during the Depression.
Get a brain.

So 169 Bar has improved vastly.
Its bizarrely charming.
Is bizarrely a word I don't know.

We all sat in the back by a blue lamp with a homemade shade.
Then I had to experiment taking the shade off to see if girls look beautiful in blue.
Fact: They do.

Shade on works too.

Olivia gets my phone in her hands and suddenly taking good pictures is a piece of fucking cake.
Mmm cake.

I'm becoming that annoying person who sticks their iphone in everyones face trying to figure out how to make the pictures not look like shit.
It's hard and people don't like how invasive it is.
Too bad fools!
Actually the only person who truly hates when I do it is Denise.
Last night I think she came really close to punching me in the mouth.

This whole situation happened.

Zack Teddy Quim and some other guy in a band.
Zack singing like a little angel.
Quim being a swaying keyboard player.
It was literally fascinating.
It was gripping.
I was expecting Teddy to go on stage and rap about dragging girls in the woods to kill them.
Instead, the universe imploded and they played a bunch of love songs.
So good.

I also talked Marty's ear off about how geigh it is to be single when all you want to do is sit home with someone you love and eat candy. And maybe watch Family Guy. And talk. And wear pajamas.
Gross but everybody wants it.

Z was there surprisingly enough.
I kissed her maybe 400 times because she says she is moving to Tuscany.
What the fuck is that.
Anyway apparently she existed in a space and time where 169 Bar became a rave powered by the fuel of flannel wearing rainbow spirits.
Happens all the time.

Speaking of spirits, Crystal and JJ like to pretend they are sisters in some alternate life but when you see a picture of them side my side they have absolutely zero resemblance to eachother.
But they are both funny and cute and spunky as a couple of sexy kittens.
So I guess that settles that.

I like how this guy claimed to be Zacks manager and asked us if knew the real on how he was going to Blow Up.
Thats when Irealized I'm immature because my very defensive retort was:

Love that kid.

Then we went to Sweet P and I was getting sleepy so I went home.
Then we went to Sweet P and I stayed for one drink then slunk (slinked?) off without saying my adieus to anyone.

Classic jerk status.

If you cared about none of that, let me try to be fair and leave you with some hilarity.
Please check the white lady's grill.

Good night my lil waynes.

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