Tuesday, September 30, 2008

NSFW if you actually have a job. Which you don't.

Wow really interesting stuff happening.

Tuesdays are fucking wiiiild!
(opposite meaning should be applied)

Right now in case you all need to know, I'm drinking a stella and eating one of those giant dutch cocoa cookies WHICH I got on sale. A dollar for a pack of eight!
Big things!
Whilst perusing my local grocery, I found a gnarly fucking plastic rat guarding the Ragu.


After two and a half days of working, tending to semi-sick babies, keeping up appearances, staying late, the whateverthefuck, I am always ready for a drink Tuesday afternoons.
i would never have the audacity to actually complain about my job because I'm not stupid.
I know working less than 30 hours a week and getting the rent paid is a lucky break no matter how you cut it.
Also, the food alone is totes worth is.
This customer?
Supes sats!
(abbreviation credit goes to Stephanie on that one)

Anyway, the weather is changing and I have nothing to wear except a couple flannels that I keep hanging in the closet for all seasons.
My ballstomping Frye boots are back in full effect, but they make me look like an angry lesbian I'm beginning to realize.

If I was a lesbian I would not be angry I don't think, I would just be annoyed because women are a handful.
They are so sensitive.
Everything is a big deal.
Your tone of voice may cause a six week break up at the very least.
God forbid you ditch her for your mans and them.
Oh, you are in deep deep dark shit my friend.

Very few notable things have happened in the past few days.
My apartment still looks like someone just moved out 2 days ago.
Waste of space Krissy cmon now.

I deposited some money in the now defunct Wachovia Bank.
I only deposited because I owe Cingular aka AT&T a couple hundy.
They absolutely RAPED me when I got the iphone.
Hi, thanks, thats great, cause the phone itself didn't cost quite enough, and the plan...yeah very affordable.
Look who fell for it.
PS my mom bought me my iphone so you can disregard all ranting about how expensive it is.
It didn;t come from my pocket but jesus christ thats not the point.
Horrifying side note: As we speak, the phone is frozen. Has been for about 10 minutes. No, no thats fine, I'm pleased.
I'll just use it as a card table.
Or I can put it under the side of my couch that droops a little.
Honestly, I really like the phone.
Thanks Mom.
But sometimes I feel like I have imprisoned myself willingly to the new frontier of NEVER SPEAKING TO ANYONE FACE TO FACE AGAIN.
Oh awesome you can just text me.
Excuse me total stranger don't look at me/try to converse can't you see I'm busy listening to Pandora/playing Bricks/notating things on my iCal/updating my facebook status/watching vintage internet porn??
Yes I do all of those things while walking around.
Including the porn part.
But only this video really...

Diesel SFW XXX - Watch more free videos

PS if you are my mom, or someone elses mom, or amazingly uptight, or someone I once worked for. I would rather you ignore that I posted this.
I'm a great nanny. And a loving daughter. Etc.
But I also like to watch sex acts on video.
Big deal get over it.

Here are some rust/decomposed ghosts at the Broadway/Lafayette stop on the F.
Downtown side.
I think they are pretty amazing.

Its like when those people see the Virgin Mary on toast.
You have to be there to feel the ill spirit vibes.
Go fuck yourself.

Back to meeeeee.
LA Annabelle (who i like to imagine as a super classy chola)

has suggested that the next Fuck that Guy be Justin Timberlake.
I think that is a good call.
There are a couple other options, but Porto and I have fallen off the last couple weeks.
Must be all the hard core partying mixed with successful ladder climbing we're into.
If you google us, you'll just get an image of a spinning supernova.
Ripping through space and time.
We have really got it like that.
Ask anyone.

Anyway the point is, fuck that guy resurfaces Thursday at the latest.
I'm so sure you're peeing your satin panties waiting.
That means you, secretly cross dressing men reading my blog.

Speaking of cross dressing men,
I dare someone to make sense of Posh's boots.

The monstrosity that is Posh is certainly not helped by whateverthefuck she melted her feet into.
I'm sorry, but your chances of not being an alien are now nil.
You're officially both retarded and totally unexplainable as a creature.
PS I sort of love you.

1 comment:

Annabelle said...

a super classy chola made me grin real wide