Saturday, January 31, 2009

Hi, Hater, Bye Dater.

This is by far the most bloggable thing that has happened to me in months.
I seriously mean that.
It is so amazing, so absurd, so perfectly weird, that I can not bear to keep it to myself.

Every once in awhile someone I care for tells me that I can be a bit cruel. That sometimes my teasing hits too close to home and its hurtful for them.
When this happens, I typically don't even realize I have done it, and sincerely apologize for my insensitivity and bullying.

The following email was just sent to me an hour ago, by a guy I went on ONE DATE WITH.
He hardly knows me from a hole in the wall.
As I stated a few posts back, it was an ok date, there just weren't SPARKS! happening.
This my friends, is why I don't date 'nice guys.'

I would just also like to throw in, this is a TOTAL SHOCK TO ME, seeing as I did absolutely nothing to this guy.
I'm serious, I'm not just saying it.
The one thing I think he could have gotten his panties twisted up about would maybe be me telling him he reminded me of David Cross. Which, PS, not an insult!

I think this is simply a case of one man, no balls, playing way out of his league.


*hey you mentioned not wanting the guy to buy all your drinks cause it might be bad Karma.
Well if you are worried about Karma you might want to try not to be the biggest fucking bitch you can be in a poor attempt to cover up the fact that you are a huge loser.
The booze must of caught my tongue cause you are easily the worst person I have ever been on a date with and I should left after the first of many insults and told you to go fuck yourself. Sorry for the delay this should of been seen after we first met.


I think he likes me

Here is my response:

Wow that was weird.
Good luck with everything in your future

Kindest regards

Sent from my iPhone

* So, the thing about the awesome of me?!?!
I never let men pay for everything because I don't ever want to be a gold digger, lead them on, or make them feel obligated.
Not only that, but this guy told me 10 minutes into our date that he was so glad to hang out together!
He stuck around for almost 3 hours! Never got sour, nothing!

Is it possible that this is what happens when you don't put out?

Anyway, despite being totally over the catch phrase.....

Hi, Hater!!!!!

PPS If you would like a picture of this super happy lovable guy, please leave a comment with request and I will gladly show him to you.
Because I'm a bitch like that!
Just looking out for my fellow castraters of NYC.


Anonymous said...

I sorta hate men. True story.

I love your bizarrely formal response. Bizarre email formality is one of my faves.


Anonymous said...

Also, I'm glad I met another member of the Castrators for Life (CFL) club. Yay!

(My word was aallif, as in "Yo, let's all go down to Aallif and cop some kicks yo.")

4thFloorNYC said...

Yes, please, I'd like one...he sounds like a winnah!!

Denise said...

let me see that pic!!! amazing

Anonymous said...

Holy C, what a baby! A sitch that WOULD have warranted such a bitchy email would have been the time I was out on a date so empty of sparks that I went to the bar bathroom with the sole purpose of escaping via the window, only there was no window. 20 minutes later, after being forced to allow him to get me a cab (and having him try to tongue my tightly closed lips) he then texted me "TELL ME IT WASN'T ME!!!" I didn't reply.

Anonymous said...

can I have picture please?

this is great!


jens397 said...


ps. for the record not into castration. that movie hard candy really scarred me. and that's scarred as in an indelible image i cannot erase, not as in a typo for scary.

Anonymous said...

If you ask me he wasn't nearly harsh enough, to quote David Cross: "If i was in a room with you and Hitler and i had just one bullet in my gun... i'd probably shoot you... no wait, I'd shoot myself in case the bullet didn't kill you."