two things are amazing.
jons guest blog.
and this video.
now that thats over with!
it is 55 degrees today but the sun is not out. Weather updates! It feels like we are trying to avoid the silence in an elevator. But we aren't!
Here is some good news:
1. My ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend WAY crazier than me, meaning it wasn't my fault I was such a wackjob, it's obviously just his effect on women.
Shes been emailing me.
Good thing I have a killer sense of humour and a decent amount of heart or else I would end up saying some things that would make her want to spend eternity in hell as opposed to sticking with him. DRAMA! OOOOH no she di'int.
Ooh yes she did.
2. I got some new shampoo that smells really awesome but only cost 6 dollars. Holler.
3. It's not Monday anymore.
4. Tomorrow is Wednesday.
5. I still have not had an emotional breakdown about the boy I like moving to another country in a month. I think I will make it all the waaaaaaaay. To the last day. Then. I will do something very unlike me. I will cry a little and not yell at all.
Unless i get drunk.
Then I'm pretty sure I will be yelling.
So odds are, I'll be yelling?
Because odds are.
I'll be drinking.
So I kid.
Thats not really good news its just "right-now-good-news" that the freak out hasn't arrived yet.
I feel like I'm threatening myself.
OK. Back to good news.
6. I don't currently, nor have ever, slept with a guy with hair like this:
Ok, I get it. You're Italian. Maybe Hispanic. That is really fine with me. You probably have a naturally lovely skintone, a decent bone structure, and a strong bloodline. Why is it that you have to accost me on Lexington Ave with this FUCKING HAIR? GUHHHHHHH.
Who started this? I want to know. I don't think it was those Gotti boys because I feel like they are incapable of original thought, so it must have been someone else. Sometimes when I tell people I'm from Jersey, an image of a piece of shit like this flashes through my mind and i Pim. (Puke in mouth)
Ugh, so crispy.
7. Not only does my favorite chicken spot now have RED VELVET CAKE, but my dearest darling Gary happens to be representing right next to it.
Oh, red velvet cake plus Gary?
The only way to exceed level of awesome would be to have the guy behind the soda machine not eyeball molest me every time I ask for a number 4 with coca cola classic.
Wouldn't it be crazy if he was an Arabian prince who wanted me to see him for who he truly is like in Coming to America?
I still wouldn't go for it though because he's like the Middle Eastern Manson. And hes always on one of those earbud cell phone things. Dude, you work in fast food. Stop flossing please.