Monday, March 2, 2009

If birds could talk theyd talk about yer mom

So you know the little Notes application in iPhone?
Well, I make notes on the subway about things I want to blog.
Then I get home and realize brainfarts like these don't really flesh out the way I intend:

1. Guys who can braid their beards - where are they cause I wanna date them.
(In reality, all I wrote was BRAIDED BEARDS!?!)
2. The phrase "Gib me spashe" - too annoying to say out loud or hilarious?
3. Mo Willems is amazing.

Wait so actually, I kind of feel like I can use these examples right now.

Seriously about the braided beards, I don't need to explain do I?
Its like if you could take all the extras from Braveheart; dump them into Manhattan; and invite them to a bar around the corner from me, I could literally die happy.
Actually, I might want to change it to braided mustache.
I don't know it doesn't matter either way.
Braid your facial hair.
It works.

"Gib me spashe"...also explains itself.
Is it the right kind of annoying?
I'm not sure yet.
For some reason it reminds me of Martin Short

Ps upon googling Martin Short, I found this gem.

Martin Short. Steve Martin. Play fighting in the tropical sea?
My gayness meter just exploded fairy cum sprinkles everywhere.
And it smells like Drakkar, old lady face lotion and BubbleYum.

So onto Mo Willems.
This guy is the author/illustrator of a lot of really great childrens books that I have read to tons of babes.
They are good for doing voices.
They are funny.
They have little to no creepy sugar coating, which almost all media directed at the young uns have.

My favorite character of his is Pigeon.
Pigeon doesn't wanna share his hot dogs.
He wants to stay up mad late.
He wants to drive the bus around New York.
He's super manipulative and hes a total liar.
Hes an asshole just like actual pigeons.
If you're a parent or a nanny or just a retard who can't read chapter books, get on Mo.
Such a treat.

Abrupt blog end.

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