Saturday, June 28, 2008

Guys with two earrings... Bi or just douchbags?

Past few days I am intermittently overjoyed and freaked out.
Mostly joy.
It is too fucking hot in the city and I would love to run off to some windy place or jump in the ocean.
The season is pretty glorious aside from the fact that I sweat like a pig.
In case you haven't seen me lately, I basically wear the same thing every day.
A tshirt with a little black spandex skirt and moccasins.
It is the best thing ever. That is what I am meant to look like.
Trashy. And happy.
The only problem is, spandex makes me drip. I feel like there is a little river drifting down my legs every time I walk greater than two blocks.
So needless to say, walking from my place to Whole Foods on E Houston Friday was not glorious.
I was meant to meet Wendita out front to go get some after work drinks.
Not that I worked Friday but she did.
It took us 48 phone calls from across the street to find each other.
But it was all well worth it.
We got the slushiest margaritas ever at Sweet and Vicious. De.Lish.

We shittalked for a couple hours mostly about boys and work. And clothes. And other girl things.
I like it when Wendy gets a little tipsy and her Harlem Dominican personality comes out blazing. The little hand waving neck snapping hip wiggling situation makes me SO HAPPY. Also the "you go girl casual high five." Priceless. Love you Dita.
What a nice little catch up to start the weekend.

Your smile lights up my life sistergirlfriend.

So we departed to the tune of her getting a call from a broker about some big fat commission she is getting and me heading off to Brooknah with Sammy.
Friends from the west coast (mehhh) Delta Spirit were playing late at Union Hall, and of course LA Amy was here to support her man, the talented bass guitarist Jon.
I hate how cute and pure they are. Now that Amy is blonde they appear even more innocent and sun kissed and lovable. Gross. Jon buys Amy white wines and they laugh at each others little jokeys and Amy stands right up front when they perform.
Yes, I'm jealous. Big deal. We all wanna loooooove somebaaaaaaaady.
Also people who live in California are way too blessed. They smile all day and tell lighthearted tales of what trick they are currently teaching their two dogs.
Fuck you.

This is what Sammy looked like after a Union Hall veggie burger, sweet potato fries, a couple drinks, and some painkillers. Babys got a bad back she deserves some treats. It was also really amazing to watch her walk around using an umbrella as a cane.

Anyway Delta Spirit was amazing duh.

Soul searching people come on?

I did a little tequila swingin toe tappin NBD.
Sammy sings along to some of the songs which is so creepy because it just is, I'm not sure what the reason.
Also they are a HANDSOME MAN BAND.

What the hell is that about? I feel like I am always mentioning a band with cute boys in it. Probably because I am.
Also they have a friend who looks exactly like Tally Dead Dead and it made me miss him lots!
So yeah it was debauchery after the show, mild debauchery. I have a little baby crush on Kelly because hes fucking cute. Like a lazy version of Ryan Gosling plus a couple pointy dog teeth and a fantastic sense of humor. We talked about Tim and Eric Awesome Show for about an hour. Chester Chester Avenue! Saturday, California AKA Browntown! Wanna meet that dad!
What a catch. Those lucky little California sluts.

Fast forward to post performance, Sammy is now molesting cups of beer and telling Brendan that she's his pony if hes her salt lick.
Samantha Westholme Sculley, you brazen bitch. I felt like I was in one of those dirty novellas you read in the back of the library, blushing. The ones that are super cheesy gross and dreamy at the same time.

Amy as a blonde is just really overwhelming my senses. In a good way. In a Playboy bunny way. She was also wearing a little black tube top jumper/shorts thing so basically it was spicy. Amy was spicy.

Anyway we all ended up in the DEPTHS of Brooklyn it was really not my style.
the only bar we could find for a "nightcap" was some place called Gingers. There were a couple wigger lesbians inside and a few old dudes. I had given up tequila at that point due to killer heartburn and had some Heineken. I got moderately teased by Brendan the drummer about how me and Kelly should be making out. This needs to be explained because I then realized I say funny things so I wont feel embarrassed. Instead of getting flustered i asked him if he knows he looks like Steve Guttenberg.
Thank you, I'll be here all night.

I had some fun, yes I did.
I wish everyone could stick around for a couple more days, Amy is never here and shes a pretty good gal. And the boys are quality fun time party blast off winner dollfaces.

So yeah, continued on down the road of a live music fiend and saw Aloke last night at Rehab again. I really like Rehab actually because people DANCE. Nice change.
Stephanie, Dop, Fan, Liv, Hiyme and I were all mightily overwhelmed by the volume which was out of control. My entire face ached basically.

Holy shit the sky just opened the rain is drowning my backyard.

Ok, yeah, so, the show was really good, a lot of gratuitous hair swinging and neck thrashing on the stage.

After the set Steph and I danced it out for awhile upstairs and I got molested by some sleazy dude and had to give him the old, "Excuse me but I'm dancing ALONE ok? This is my space right here, thanksverymuchhhah"

The crazy thing was, the whole night I had my eye on Dop who is going through a hard hard time right now. Some guy was trying get the ins with her and it scared me half to death.
She was like, "Hes a good listener, he bought me a beer, he looks like a firefighter."
To which I replied so wisely, "He wants to put things in your butthole Katie, and maybe hes a firefighter but he actually looks like he rescues the victims and then does sex to their burning bodies"

I think I hated all men last night except Paul, Alex I, Alex II, and Christian. Oh, and that little fox Ryan, Christians friend. His "bromancer." Steph and I had to go home and IMDB his ass like WHAT MOVIE WAS HE IN??? AND WAS HE LYING ABOUT BEING 27????
No he wasn't lying, he just LOOKS 12, and he was the guy who loved Marisa on the OC. Ughhh, we both had a JTT Teen Magazine moment, like WHAT A HANDSOME LITTLE FUCKFACE! Then we giggled a little and ate some pizza. And had sleepover time.

Dop was drinking herself into being hilarious. She noticed that the bus sign had fallen to the bottom of the pole, so she lifted it up where it belongs. Then dropped it again. It was very loud and obviously satisfying for her.

All pictures of Alex II in my camera phone look exactly like this. He truly has never looked at me and used a different expression. Maybe because I'm constantly saying things to him that push the acceptable conversation boundries. I think his smiley little face just makes me want to talk about cadavers and pedophelia and trannies and black magic.

Everytime I go out, these photo have the same style. Or lack of. Basically they are awful. Maybe because I have no idea how to stand still. Thats part of the problem.
But I maintain despite poor quality, Stephanie looks like a fox in this picture. Half a fox.

Great job with the half pony held with a butterfly clip.
You look like the Last Samurai only a fag version.
Alex I doesn't mind when I talk shit about him because his sense of humor is excellent. He is one of my favorite people to be Funny Krissy for.

Speking of funny. This is Dop speaking Chinese to Fan.
The only things she can say are:
Hello how are you?
I'm fine.
My father is a doctor.
My mother works at the university.

Mind you, Katies father? Not a doctor.
Ugh you can not make this shit up.

This is Fan trying to listen to Katies garbage Mandarin, and teaching us all how to say Fuck your mother.

I think that sums up the sitch nicely.

Also, I can stop wearing hats finally because I got my hair did.
Thanks Mom.
Sexy lady coming through step aside fools.

it looks like someone poured a bottle of white out into my eye sockets! amazing! i look at myself a lot lately i think its because for some reason my boobs are expanding at the age of 24. Right on time. Thanks.

No seriously though, stop judging me, all of you mother fuckers with iphoto sit there some days like how can i look cuter? Like this? This? Ah yes thats a good one, I think I'll put it on my myspace profile with the tag "soooo bored"

Fuck off!

7th grade forevs.

That is how I'm living.
Say that like a robot: That. Is. How. I'm. Liv. Ing.

Ok perfect.

1 comment:

Katie said...

I have been thinking about you telling someone shut the fuck up you look like steve gutenberg and giggling to myself all day long. Yay for my first comment on your boblawblog, or any blablog for that matter.