I had one of those weekends where I ended up painting a wall and mopping the kitchen floor and watching at least 5 movies. In other words, not extremely awesome.
I also had a little get together with a certain ex who shall remain nameless, and that went swimmingly.
Its amazing what time does for people, I'm pretty sure if you give anything its chance to heal, you'll be fine. As opposed to "dying of heartbreak" which is what you would have heard me saying two years ago whilst laying on my moms couch crying taking xanex and not showering for a week at a time.
Ah the glory days.
But I feel like totally relieved that we can be friends in a way, and its bullshit to hate people for what they "did to you."
No one ever did shit to me, I just let things happen within my stupid little universe.
I think I would like to have a insult competition, followed by a slapfest with Dr Phil.
I could totally take him and his job, look how healthy my mind is.
I'm like a flower. Or like a bird. Or something else everybody likes.
JKJKJK tons of people don't like me and for good reason.
So I really miss New Jersey suddenly, out of nowhere I crave my mothers house, especially her fridge. And the hammock. And my horrible bipolar cat Dorothy Grace Parker.
My brother graduates from high school this Thursday, I'm super proud of him and hes one of the best people I know. Hes definitely cooler than me hands down. Whenever I get super drunk I tell my girlfriends that one of them should marry him then they tell me I'm gross because hes only 18.
Point is, I must go on Friday. I am basically peeing my pants with excitement at the idea of bringing my favorite gal pals out to the burbs to drink booze and play cards.
What the fuck.
So I didn't blog Stephs birthday which happened like 2 weeks ago, I just forget things.
But it was so great to meet her daddy because A) hes a really nice guy and B) she loves him so much that I felt like not ever meeting him would just be absurd.
Brunch in Brooklyn.
we lit that candle on the baby cheesecake at least 3 times for photo op.
Hey Stephanie you look fresh and flirty. Like a Neutrogena girl!
*courtesy of Father Porto
OK so lets talk about B. She is Stephanies old friend from Houston and basically she is the bomb. Yup. The bomb. Shes so good, that using the phrase "shes the bomb" came BACK into style just for the sake of describing her.
First of all, good boobs.
Second of all, shes totally endearing. She put a wet paper towel under her hat because she was hot.
Lets also talk about how we all write funny/adorable cards.
Good card writing is key.
Stephanie obviously appreciates the art. The nose crinkle says it all right there.
What are you smiling about Tbones?
It was an estimated 4 trillion degrees when we got to the beergarden down the street. It was that weekend we had where like...you walked outside for 3 seconds and your armpits screamed and your toes perspired. If toe sweat happens, it happened that afternoon. Jesus.
Elliot was like, fuck this bullshit its nap time suckers.
This is the garbage I have to end up with when I try to take a picture of Chiara. Asshole.
Oh, candids? No problem, shes a gem.
This photo doesn't accurately display how strong Elliots dislike is for his own aunt.
Aw, tragic. He'll get over it when he realizes shes the cats pjs.
Shvitzing and boob displaying courtesy of JennyPack.
Booger digging, Stephanie Porto.
Not doing anything, TBones Despirito.
Being an alien dog, Lucy Goosey P-U-Ski.
Hey Kaitlin, why are you so dreamy?
Kaitlin was sporting my favorite outfit in history maybe.
A tshirt of many holes and a skin tight black stretch skirt.
I guess thats how you turn out when your born with the last name FREEWIND.
Andy and Ed and some of their duder friends showed up. Father Porto loved Ed which is cute.
Andy made gross faces like this and then dissapeared into the Brooklyn heathole.
He and Ed were wearing matching jean shorts. Cut off at knee length. Frayed.
Couldn't ask for more, could you? The answer is. No. You could not.
The day became dark and dreary as soon as Justin showed up.
no not really, we just ended up at a table that wasn't being raped by the rays of deadly sunlight.
On another note, you look like a serial killer.
Gratuitous cat picture.
Oh Cinnamon you furry phantom of my heart.
The birthday was fun!
It was hot and I was drunk and Tbones ordered an awesome apple ale that I plan on hunting down and drinking very soon. It was like if you dropped green jolly rangers into champagne. Only not as vomit sounding.
I also invited this guy I'm "dating" to the beergarden and Stephanie kindly let me know I'm too mean for him. Well played Porto, I hear you loud and clear. I do love honesty.
What else? Lucy walked all over the table.
Our waitress had the most annoying man voice ever and got mad about the bill not being covered. Yeah I would be mad too but it was totally weird when she was like, "Look I'm 40 and I've been doing this since I was 18."
Keep that info to yourself sister.
It makes you sound like a 2/10 in life score terms.
Good times Good times nice Sunday all around.
In closing, I love Stephanie more than all the fishes in the ocean. I love her to eternity. I love her to Jupiter. But not back from Jupiter because that shit it far.