Friday, April 10, 2009

Very Gullible.

I haven't talked about my friends on here for awhile.
Did some stuff with them, it was great, they all looked fantastic, I talked too much, they let me. I spent money, they didn't stop me... thanks a lot assholes, and yes, you are my personal accountants/babysitters.

So since being FIRED a week ago, thats really all I've been doing.
Leaning on my friends.
So I don't lose my shit.
I have yet to freak out by the way.
It just hasn't hit me that I am one of the club.
The recession failure jobless deadbeat club.

In other news

Will and Olivia became radioactive.

Molly and Yoshi started a ghost story night at this bar.

Not really to both of those things.
These are the only pictures I have that came out from two separate visits to Home Sweet Home with master bartender/can't-control-the-volume-of-my-voice co-sufferer, Jen.
She and I screamed for a good 5 minutes the other night about both receiving identical lame severance packages when fired.
Thats the great thing, my friends are always willing to yell about things with me. TandemYell.

One night I went to Brooklyn to see Corrine and Butch's new apt with Stephanie. I found out one very important thing. There is no place more boring in the universe than Park Slope.
Unless you have a husband and you're both strapped down with BabyBjorns and you have fucking given up on the possibility of titillation.
They should rename it Apathy Slope.
That place is so absurdly non threatening and boring, this is the scariest graffiti they could come up with:

You can't even enforce your notification with an ACTUAL dog?
Just a hypothetical dog???

No one has ever been better suited to have the surname Weiner.
The other other options for Corrine would be if she was named Corrine Faggetron or Corrine ShitShow.
PS, Corrine and Butch have excellent apartment design skills.

I don't know what else I did with my friends because I didn't take pictures of any of it.
I bought a bike.
I did brunches.
I drank some vodka at some places.
I had a couple sleepovahs.
The usual.

Then yesterday I went BACK to Brooklyn (thank god this time to Williamsburg, which, in comparison to Doldrum Slope is ELECTRIFYING)

Dollar mini pitchers? Yes, I will leave Manahatta for that.
Sidenote: Levin and I managed to find the worst cab driver ever to take us from Bowery and Delancey into Brooklyn.
That is not far.
This man bitched the ENTIRE ride asking for info such as "exactly how many blocks are we going?" "Is it very close?" "Can I take this all the way out to Long Island City?"
Stephanie got in the cab and very aggressively requested that he stop asking so many questions at "3 oclock in the goddamn afternoon"
Don't worry, I calmed him down.
Alternate universe?
Yes maybe, but I really did.

Oh great, our destination.

The place was fuckin packed.

We saw a few people outside.
First we saw Sherlock Homeboy with a detective hat and beige trench coat.
Then we saw a Maury Povich couple. Meaning "opposites."
The girl was so tiny and the man was so tall, she only came up to his elbow.
Heres Raffi demonstrating what it looks like when she tries to hold his hand:

Mr Kiki thinks its ok to laugh at the expense of others.
I wholeheartedly agree.

I realized right after I took this picture that it almost perfectly explains these two people.
Stephanie agreed with me by shouting "YES. YES."
Dan agreed with me in the form of a creepy smile.

This is how I look when I'm content.
No, that is not depressed or disgusted.
Please peep the large woman behind me at the bar.
She was sporting a ITALIA athletic ensemble and sunglasses.
Don't worry, I'm sure shes just a giant harmless lesbian with mafia ties and a gun in her 89 Cavalier.

Thumbs up for jewish holidays I guess.

Chiara being in awe of her best friend Raffi.
So gay.

I wish I had these first.
Oakleys are a good look when you have a certain shaped head.
I should definitely cop a pair of sexy glasses soon so I can use all of my lady swagger to pick up a man just like this:

Why is Kevin Federline's head posted up in a Brooklyn salon?
I don't know.

The icing on the cake was taking the train to Stephs later and seeing RasTrent.
Unfortunately I didn't get any closer so you can't fully experience the cheesiness of the White Guy Dreads Adorned With Woven Hat.

Then I ate almonds and fell asleep.
Then Stephanie yelled at me to get up and we went to a party.
Then I paid too much money for a drink and walked home with Molly.
Then I got Bahn Mi.
It make me feel smiley like this:

Tomorrow I go to New Jersey to see my family.
I hate both ham and deviled eggs, the traditional Easter food.
I will complain for a little while then make salads and roast chicken.
I will also eat tons of cheese and crackers and watch hours upon hours of VH1.
Then I will get drunk and sit in the backyard.
Basically its a dream.

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