Sew, I think I might go on a date tomorrow.
That means one of two things for you, blog reader/stalker.
A. It will go horrible and I will be able to tell you all the glorious details. Then none of us will know whether to laugh or cry.
B. It will be good, therefor I will share zero details and I will start writing his surname in cursive on little pieces of paper. JK I don't do that. JK I totally do that.
Anyway, wish me luck, even though luck doesn't exist dummies.
Its kind of perfect timing matter of fact because tomorrow Venus exits its long torturous existence in retrograde and goes direct.
For more information on this, please email me with the subject line "I'm a total faggot and I want to know more about astrology don't tell anyone"
And I promise to really not tell anyone.
My cats are so obsessed with me I can't handle it anymore. When people say animals don't feel love, I want to ask them to please come over for one hour and witness.
As I type, they are hovering around me smelling my eyelashes and nudging my hands and meowing. It is so precious and also I want to throw both of them out the window.
So I keep wanting to leave New York.
For Easter aka Disgusting Honey Baked Spiral Cut Ham Day, I went to Jersey to see my mum and Olive came with.
I drank too much and ate a bag of Fritos and cried in the bathroom.
Needless to say it was awesome.
I woke up in the morning with 3 empty Capri Suns on the floor by the bed and a killer headache. I'm pretty sure it was off the scale galpal shit going on.
One of my oldest and most inappropriate friends.
PS she is the only person in the universe that I don't hate for having piercings in her face.
And if I did have a problem with it, she would rearrange all of my internal organs with her bare hands.
Then rip my vagina off with maniacal brute strength.
Sometimes it is weird to me that Jeylan and I grew up around the corner from eachother. And we still sort of live around the corner from each other, only in a different state.
Its because we are codependant. Fuck off.
Hi, these are the people I love.
Murphs face is the real.
That ugly ass facial expression will never stop my deep deep love.
You know best friend loyalty when you decide its time to lay on the floor and ask them, "what will I do when I die and we're apart?"
and they respond, "Oh honey, that won't happen" then roll their eyes and hug you.
Strangely enough, I'm pretty sure that if there are two humans who can defeat the rules of death in order to not have to be separated, its me and Alisha.
No big whoop.
Enough of that.
Olive wanted to take pictures at the beach the next day so we drove to Deal Beach, which just so hapens to be where HER mom had a summer house as a kid.
Heres me documenting her documenting to send a picture text to her mom in Hollywood.
Pay attention and it won't be.
I took of my shoes for photo shoot time despite the fact that the sand was cold as Canadian balls.
The majesty of the ocean makes it all worthwhile.
As a general rule, fillins in affluent suburban communities are a stupid look.
Olive gazing at the sea for her Popeye.
Hopefully there will be one or two pictures of me not scowling in the 48 rolls of film Olive shot.
Look what I found!
I tried to absorb the powers of Fin Raziel.
I can't tell if it worked yet.
Hey nerd, stop talking about Willow all the time.
Its just a really good movie on all fronts.
Moral of the story.
I don't feel like blogging anymore because Molly is here.
My friends are cute.
I like the ocean.
The ocean likes me back.
I hate wearing shoes.
I love Fritos.
I'm having a weird hair day.
Wish me luck on my crappy date.