Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Such a weekend warrior.
I've been working since Friday morning, pulled in a couple 15 hour days, good times.
I feel a mixture between totally relaxed and ready to rip my hair out.

I should be sleeping off my headache right now.

OK, question.
Why the fuck is everyone running away for New Years Eve?
I'm not feeling it.
Thank god Pam will be here.
We can celebrate her birthday in style.
Like yo where is everybody.

I lie.
Far as I know, 4 of my friends will not be here for the start of 2009.
But its a fucking amazing 4.

Also, I never get a romantic god damn kiss when the ball drops.
I don't think it has happened one time in my life.
He Who Shall Remain Nameless who I spent a few years with never kissed me to celebrate.
I remember this very clearly because one the the years, he wasn't even down to hang out with me.
I don't mind shouting myself out like that because everybody knows anyway. I was definitely getting the shit end of the stick in that scenario.
Funny thing is, nowadays when I think about him I laugh. Audibly.
I wonder what it was that kept me slinking around so long begging for acceptance.
Then I realize.
Getting shit on.
It is absolutely the sickest most masochistic trait.
There is something about working really hard to no avail.
Because then... what if you actually WIN?
I suppose the way to 'win' at life would be to just not give a shit about people who aren't feeling you, but I'm not that evolved.
I love the chase fools!

I'm a little hampster on the wheel going going going going going like when do I get a treat?!
Yay treats!
No treat for you Krissy.
Get off the wheel, and go find some carrot nubs.
That is not a phallic reference.

Speaking of treats, there are about 14 of these wrappers next to my bed.

Sometimes when I smoke a cigarette I smell Chinese food in my mind.
I think its because all Chinese Americans are chain smokers.

This is the point where I tell myself go the fuck to sleep.

Goodnight Prayer:

Dear God
Thanks for bringing that pay-per back into my life.
I was having financial trouble but you always seem to keep me from going broke.
You and my mom.
So I guess good job on the whole inventing moms thing.
I'm really tired but thanks a lot also for inventing beds and flannel sheets and nudity.
If you could get something lined up for me in terms of a sensual yet non-sexual back rub I would be into that.
Please keep your eyes peeled for weird people ringing my buzzer at 6 am. Especially ones who don't speak English who are obviously trying to rob my building.
If you could make something hilarious yet non fatal happen to them before they arrive to wake me up and scare me that would be amazing. I didn't enjoy that at all the other night it make me cranky and you know how that goes.
Why did you make crankiness?
Please revoke.
In addition could you secretly mail me a dvd (you don't need to put a return address) of the greatest trip and fall happenings in history? TallyDead and I would really like to see it. People tripping is amazing, I know you know that or else you would not have given us such retarded feet.
Love always,
your friend,


fthats said...

Re: DVD of people tripping
No, I don't have this, but yes, I did once see a douchey suit slip on a BANANA PEEL near Astor Place. The tragedy was that I think I was the only one who saw.

dirtycash said...

I'm pretty sure Take 5 are the best candy ever invented in the world..... If there is something you don't like, that's NOT in a Take 5, then obviously you have some issues.....