I like to start every post by saying I blog less than I used to.
if anyone still reads this bullshit, my sincerest reparations are to come.
And by reparations I mean pictures of things like more babies and other snoozy business.
First of all I want to say Olive is very pretty especially in the glorious sun rays that stream into her new apartment.
We went to an excellent art show situation event whateverthefuck last week and Will was as spastic as I expected. As you can maybe tell from this terrifying photo.
The new me is very coy around men, and every man there was HandsomeGlory so I spent most of the night blushing. This is not a lie, I in fact blush now. I don't know whats going on with me.
I like when there is food and endless booze and a band and dancing and fire escapes and roof access and cute humans.
Hint: all of these things were present
Hint followup: if you sit right by the food, lots of boys will gravitate towards where you are, making it easier to let them get a good look at you.
I employed this tactic for at least an hour.
That art looks like Cisco Adlers balls.
Free alcohol leads to dance explosion.
More things happened and then I went to Atl for my sisters baby shower.
We ate here after the family picked me up.
Something about that is funny to me.
This is my dramatic southern baby shower gear. And face. Theatrics.
Realize how hard it is for me to post this photo.
Everything about it is eyeroll worthy.
But I'll tell you something, I look pretty.
So I'll be that.
My boo in the car.
My boo at the pool.
Right: my sister, 9 months pregnant, baby shower guest of honor
Left: my cousin, 6 months pregnant, her body looks just like mine after I eat cake.
What. The Fuck.
I'm pretty sure there is a picture exactly like this from 20 years ago. Aunt Linda holding me and someone else.
Now its Cashen and Kayla.
Also please look at Nancy swimming with a baby panda tube.
These two are a fucking trip.
I'm telling you, the urge to rip your clothes off as much as possible is surely genetic.
I got it from my mom, who got it from Howie and Jess.
Now we have a new flock of nuders.
Oh hey Dad you're funny to me.
I think this is what husbands look like in the south.
By the way, thats not an insult even remotely, what you're seeing here is a great guy.
Whether or not he cuts his sleeves off, hes still radder than most of the assholes I have to look at day in and day out.
Shayla is nearly a year old and this was the first time we met.
She obviously adores me.
She stuck her goldfish crackers in my mouth which for a baby, its like giving you handfuls of god damn rubies.
Had a good time.
It was a short trip
I love my family.
I went home again.
I feel like clouds are getting weirder.
Philharmonic in Central Park.
Its mostly about the snacks.
The ghost of Krissy sunbathing in Tompkins with Natasha.
Hung over and tired and gross.
Met Conrad to run uptown and try to get my Vespa going.
It was hot as sin out for real for real.
It melted my zest for life.
Two hours, a jumper cable, a can of gasoline and a coconut water later, C-rad can get the engine to turn over and the bike drives about ten car lengths before it dies.
I feel like I should repay the man for his efforts in life blood or magical potions.
He tried really hard.
This is why I love men so much.
They think shit like this is exciting.
They get their panties all twisted up tinkering with batteries and wires and engines and shit like that.
We shall return with a new battery next week and get this bumblebee looking mother fucker on the road.
PS I've been watching Kenny Powers all day.
My language is atrocious.
I'm exhausted now and I'm off to Atlantic City tomorrow for sexy lady weekend.
Before I go please look at this chinese kid with a heart shaved into his head.
Also his parents were a riot.
All my love, friends.
Exes and Ohs.