Friday, November 6, 2009


Let me tell you.
For two weeks I have been smoking like a chimney/a Brad Pitt/a mom on welfare.

When you aren't eating, smoking becomes sort of second nature.
When you aren't eating because you're having extreme anxiety, smoking becomes sort of a first nature.
I also drank a lot of orange juice to balance out the whole killing my body thing.
It seemed like a logical and or tasty solution.

I feel so much better today because I am seeing Claude again (my tiny therapist boy genius friend voice of reason) and I left a crazy abusive job. And I had the relationship talk.
That one.
Theres only one.
The one that goes like this:

(The Van Der Beek is a really good example of the Girl Crying)

Girl Crying: "I feel ______. And I need ______. And you aren't there right now and I don't know WHERE you are but its not THERE where I neeeeed you."
long pause.
Girl Crying: "I don't want to break up."
This is where Girl lists some options and tries to remain calm and does weird things with her hands and looks terrified and probably goes to the bathroom at least once to avoid the situation momentarily.
Then if the boy has any care whatsoever, he usually says what needs to be said, which fingers crossed, ends with this:
Smart Boy: "I don't want to lose you."

Aaaaaaand SCENE.

Don't worry, everything is better, no one is angry, no one is scared, now you give eachother some kind of physical feedback like a kiss or a solid hug and everyone can stop freaking out.

Unfortunately, written out that way, it looks like total bullshit the way people communicate.
But its not.
Saying how you feel is fucking hard, because the assumption is usually that you will be rejected after you've said your piece.
No one likes a complainer, or a drama queen, or a baby.
And everyone is scared all of the time to change things that feel off. Because once you admit they are off, you're really in trouble if you don't intend to step up and right the wrongs.

We all know who I'm talking about and I don't really like that because I value the privacy he and I still maintain most of the time.
But this relates to every single romantic relationship anyone will ever have so its not even like MY r'ship is being revealed here.
Yes, I say r'ship.
All the time.
Usually daily.
Because that is all girls talk about anyway.
I'm really sorry that I have to take it here, but, the moral of the story is
"Your R'ship will only sail successfully in the waters of truth and open hearts."
Most schmaltzy thing I have ever said?
Most awesome thing I have ever said.


Print Brochures said...

I hope you'd soon find the strength to finally quit smoking.. :D

I guess when it comes to relationship, everyone tries not to be too mushy about it. That is why we often don't express our feelings. Plus, we're all trying to avoid that awkward feeling... Or is it just me? Haha!

Anonymous said...

man, your writting is pretty bad. i can't even concentrate on anything you're saying.

Anonymous said...

Yo Print Brochures,

I thought I told you to stay off my fucking internet you racist pig-man!!! Go back to your precious tobacco its the only thing that will ever love you.

By the way, anonymous, go fuck yourself!