So I says to him I says...

Janice reads a book and thinks about Franklin, that fucking schmuck.
Who does he think he is.
Girls with glasses and open afternoon schedules deserve some respect too.
And it was NOT a booty call on Friday, she just wanted to see if he wanted to meet her for a milkshake but noooooooooooooo.

Asshole.



Being bored is my greatest fear.
How many times have I said that in my life?
A millie.



The bloody pendulum swings.
I am already on the other side of the fence, like, "what was I thinking with this whole free time bullshit?"


how about this?
Great.
Awesome.

I was up at 9am today, taking my laundry around the corner, picking up things for the apartment, reorganizing the huge pile of tshirts in my closet.
I never. Ever. Want to come back in the next life as a leisurely trust fund kid. I can see why so many of them become cokeheads or commit dramatic suicides in their parents jacuzzi tubs.
Distracted people are happy people. Yes, they complain more about being tired, but people LOVE complaining! It is one of the best ways to communicate. You get to talk shit, then those who love you give you their sincere consolations and offer to buy your next drink.
Snivel snivel.

So I have spent some of my afternoon playing photoshoot with my cats. Am I ashamed to admit that?
Nope.


the shadow of my hand on my camera looks like me petting CocoaBeans.
Its a mind fuck!


cat nip intervention in the future.
CinnamonSticks is so whacked out right now.


if i was a he-cat I would totally pursue CocoaButter.

I won't continue the torture.
No one ever loves your cats the way you do.
I shrug at other pets.
Like ehhh yeeeeeah its prettay prettay cute.
But what I really mean is big fucking deal, you love your pet, get over it.
With that, no more pet porn.
Thats what it is you know. Its an obsession. A sick one. People and their god damn pets.
At least I don't make mine wear clothes.
Fine, I will admit it, C & C would look hilarious and sexy in cat booties.
Lets not discuss any further.

I really hope someone comes with me to BK tonight to shake a leg.
Laaaaayg.
Say it like that!




If there is ever a solution to a problem, it is a dance out.
Your eyeballs hurt?
Dance.
Someone stole your penny jar?
Dance.
Your boyfriend is fucking your cousin Mark?
Dancing should help.

I'm serious.
Deadly Serious is the original name on my birth certificate but my mom changed her mind when I got to kindergarten because there were 2 other Deadlys in the class and it got super confusing.

Speaking of dancing, blast from the recent past:


Atlantic City is the perfect place to have a sensual rendezvous with an agro old man. Who has a gambling problem.
And asks you to meet him at the pool later.
I told Livvy I would not blog the AC pictures but give me a break, this shit needs to be seen.
I was NOT playing around in that dress and those red heels.
Every girl should have at least one pair of effective Fuck Me Shoes.
Those ones I have on work like a charm!
A charm covered in magical dick magnets.

I promise I won't put up any more of these Liv until you are done doing whatever the fuck it is you do for about two weeks after you shoot us all doing something fun.
I'll be honest though, the tingle dies off a bit between the moment they are shot and the long awaited viewing of the editing versions.
Patience is a virtue I always says