Get some new ears and teeth

So just want everyone to take a look at this.
This was over Christmas at Adelvises' house. Adelvises' actual name is Adel, he's my mums boif.
Who cares anyway, notice how normal everyone looks. Oh just some moms with their babies, some holiday spirit...
why the FUCK am I making come hither face at a Christmas gathering??
Its not appropriate, it makes no sense, I look scary, who am I.
I have no idea who that person is walking around in tank tops and satin high waisted skirts in the dead of the winter.
Oh my god, grow up.

No one caaaaaaaaaaaares.
Sing that.

Basically I wanna talk about the fact that everyone thinks its some kind of 'dangerous' that Molly and I are hanging out all the time.
Direct Quotes:
Dan Levin : Its like TNT.
FreeCaype: I'm scared.
Sam Caroll: Someone should call social services on you guys for babysitting together.

Actually its only boys who think its scary. SCAWY.
Fuck you guys.
Dun be scared.
Whatever, I get it, I would be scared of some weird bishes who roll up in a bar looking like this

left:Gilly
right: gully
Also, I'm wearing a hat ok, I don't have a bald top of head. Nice 6head, ugliness.
I don't actually think I'm ugly, I'm a babe.
Sidenote, I went on a date last night which is so weird because I don't really go on dates? But its sort of fun, I recommend it. But its a total bummer when theres no SPARK! which there wasn't.
After that I went to Brooklyn ewww and it was fun.
Hi friends! There were friends evrawhur.

I am not doing well telling stories or anything like that today.

Heres a picture in front of a stupid hippie belt/knife/hat store.

We stood there across from a school for about 15 minutes. It was molester looking.
There is no way anything I have to say today is amusing to anyone.
I just really hate that store.
Also, speaking of schools, when you are near a school there is a 50/50 chance of seeing a hot dad and I love that.
We saw a fucking banging dad with a superb mustache today.
I was moderately to highly excited about it.
I am such a mustache lover.

I'm also a Sam Sparro lover.
He is the hottest gay I've ever seen, I want to touch his bodeh.
If I had a genie, I would wish to be a really adorable twink for one day so I could go find Sam Sparro and make out with him!
It would be tasty delish glory glory hallelujah



I listen to this song way too much and it makes me have a 1990sesque dance party with myself. If you're a dj and you have never played this then get with the fucking program because it gets girls wet yo.
Sorry that was so gross.
Actually I'm not sorry at all, deal with it.


This may be the most sexually charged blog I've written in all of time.
Ladybonerz.
Nom Nom Nom

Everyones lost it.

I had one of those nights on Friday where I made at least 10 dudes angry.
By saying mean things to them and making them feel emasculated.
I think at some point I am going to get punched in the face.
Then it will be on for real.
I have been having fantasies about throwing drinks at people, not to get them wet, but to see them get hit by the glass.
I don't want them to get hurt really I just think bar fights are this thing I am personally fascinated by.
They are so Roadhouse.
I think challenging someone who could possibly break your nose is the definition of freedom.

Another thing I found out Friday - Dumbo is the windiest neighborhood in the universe. The "breeze" coming off the water could blow away a fucking rhino.
Its not whimsical or romantic or cinematic, its unbearable.
I went with Katie to meet Liv (and Will) at the photo thing afterparty whatever.
We were supposed to have a pass but slipping in sidedoors works pretty well.
Liv has been looking especially ladylike what with her knee length frocks and demure demeanor.
The crowd there was pretty great mostly because there is nothing like seeing about 50 photonerds dance badly to 90s gimmick rap.
There were also lots of uglyhot old men wearing weird hats and ill fitted jackets. I noticed lots of guys wearing "SHOES shoes." Which mean like, grown up man shoes, dress shoes.
Olivia and I decided that SHOES shoes means youre either European or gay. Fair analysis.
This space in dumbo whatever it was is pretty huge and overwhelming. I don't care about photography but if I did it would have held my attention for hours I'm sure.


Photos from people in LA who cares big chandelier I want one people people free drinks mean pissed off event workers fuck you, you took the job.


Wow books about pictures.
Picture books. For professional adults.


There was free beer and wine which is always nice and i had fun lying to people about myself. Like when they would ask "oh did your photos win anything?"
"My photos? Yeah, yeah they did. Its pretty exciting."
"Really? Wow, congrats."
"Yeah, thats one of mine over there on the wall."
Funsy!

THIS STORY IS BECOMING UNINTERESTING EVEN TO ME.

Katie drinking could maybe amuse me for the remainder of my life



Liv and Katie walkdanced right out of there.
It was really annoying to watch.
It was like. A shuffle.
When I think of shuffling I think of Chevy Chase which then makes me think about making out (with Chevy Chase)
(only during his drug years though, thats when he was a fox)


We went to Sweet Paradise surprise surprise to drink some more.


FP Will.
Never hit a guy with glasses.

Glasses was really horribly behaved.
Opening bags of food to "taste" at the store. Yelling about cars costing too much and deciding not to pay. What you can;t see is that Fashion Plate Will was also wearing two denim shirts. Why two?
BECAUSE REAL MEN WEAR TWO THATS WHY.

We bought some Reeses Pieces courtesy of Olivias wallet and we were really nice about sharing. We gave lots of people free candy by walking by and dropping a couple in their drinks.
And by we I mean me.
Mature.
Lil Ames showed up at some point and it was roomie reunion which is a big big deal after you've had about 10 drinks.

The rest of my night is not blog appropriate but I did come really close to smacking my friends boyfriend and I also somehow woke up sick Saturday morning.
And I still feel crusty.
Ew.
I really hate that, the way god punishes you for having fun by halting your ability to breathe through your nose. So yesterday I could NOT attend Harold Hunter Day which was ten fucking feet from my apartment, I CANCELLED the open house to rent out Katies room this summer, I DID NOT get to go to any of the 18 trillion things that were going on last night.
Awes.

BUT I watched a fantastic movie about a boy and his cokehead mom who leave the city to go to New Jersey for a summer and hang out with horrible rich people.
Very coming of age.
I highly recommend it.
There is lots of underage sexytime, liquid acid trips, deadhorse victims, Donald Sutherland, and golf.
Oh and guns.
And body paint.
I think I've given enough evidence that it is two hours of pure cinematic goodness.
I lso cried a little bit at the end because its super sad/heartwarming.
We all just want to be loved, you know???
You can watch it on hulu.com


Great.

Why is it still raining.
Gross.



I've been looking out this window for about 24 hours at this point and I will have to leave my room eventually.
Cough.
Sniffle.
And snore.

This is my home.

My prayers have been answered and I am back in Chinatown where there is beautiful silence.
Except for Chinamen loogie hock sounds.
I love my home. I love my bed. I love this city. Wipe a tear from my eye.


Couple things.

I hate Christmas. Christians. And ham for dinner. Ew.

I am very excited for New Years Eve for once. I think I deserve a midnight makeout. If anyone does it's me. Slurp.
And I've got a couple candidates in mind WIIIIIIIIIIIINK. Don't tease the animals.

Sidenote time.
One of my best dear darling cuteness friends has returned from Mexico to save my life. Not really, to work for Reuters big timmmaaaahhhhh. So yay for that. Shes supposed to be my twin but lately when I say that people give me the youre a retard eyeball and go, "ummmmmm yeeeaaaahhh not really?"
You be the judge.


Hearts and balloons.
I can't wait for her to move in and do things that will make me laugh.
And bogart joints. Jaja!
Aherm KATIE ORLINSKY. Take a look at her website she is pretty genius. Yay!


So back to the issue at hand. the craziness is finally over and here is what I learned from the holiday season 2007:
1. Me. Plus my sister. Plus her husband. plus Scott. Equals mayhem? Apparently.
I think it was the Rex Harrison hat that set it off.




2. My sister drinks alot. still funny after all these years.
3. i need my own camera.
4. there is someone i secretly really want to see for the New Year. (blush)
5. I love seeing Nicole and Murph in all of their lesbionic glory.
6. Missing lexapro for 3+ days may kill you
7. I don't want a dog
8. Roommates are like musical chairs. More on that as it develops.
9. I still love vodka sodas.
10. My mother still has not learned how to read a Christmas list. It will not matter if I put that one desired gift in ALL CAPS LIKE THIS********** with arrows. In red. I still will not get it because god thinks those things are funny.

God loves jokes just like me.

Holy Spirit forev.

Most importantly, my niece is the cutest baby ever to live and I want to spend the rest of my life snuggling her fat head.