The kid upstairs plays Hannah Montana at an ear bleeding volume.

Twas an interesting and colorful weekend.
"Weekend" equaled Tuesday night til today.
Tomorrow it all ends, back to the grind, happily, so happily.

I am pretty sure there is a new version of the rave in New York.
I am also pretty sure I went to them for the last two nights.

Thursday was Williamsburg Warehouse, no one has any idea what that is including me.
It is a warehouse. In Williamsburg.
Where I THOUGHT we would be dancing our actual asses off, which no one was really.
When you walk in and look up, you see the largest ceiling fan in the history of civilized man. I could also include uncivilized man because I doubt those dirt hags had gigantic electrical cooling devices.
Stephanie was scared of the fan.
Denise and I were not.
What is the point of sharing that information?


Some tripped out projection on the back wall

Anyway the open bar was impressive meaning Denise and I got fairly shit housed.
We sat upstairs for hours in some makeshift VIP area where the dj booth was. There was a pretty amazing couch. There were a lot of douchy guys as well. A few were mildly attractive but sadly below the level of masculinity a girl like me would generally require.
Fuck you, you look like a lonely oil painter.


I decided to play Frankie, recently divorced 28 year old with tons of spunk!
So basically I was myself with a failed marriage and a different name.
NBD.
Denise stuck with her alter ego Sara, and Stephanie decided to be a no-nonsense lesbian.
Good choice.




The room was red if you can't tell.
I like how Stephanie took it to the limit with the "don't step to me" face.

Tough nasty had to go home early, shes been a walking tummyache for at least a week. It makes me sad and I say little baby prayers sometimes so she will get better soon.
Dear God. Please take away sweet Sterpie's belly grumble. Don't be a prick. Just kidding! I love you. Your friend, Krissy. xoxo.


Somehow hours later, after peeing outside and smoking too many cigarettes, Denise and I were ready to move on.
We went to Union Pool (whyyyyy? I do not KNOW.)
But first I had to get a turkey sandwich which was fucking delectable. It was also 3 dollars! Go Brooklyn.

We saw Naomi who has returned from road tripping and also Fan, which is so weird because I would never envision her at a super white guy bar.


this was the best part of going there.
sign on the ice cream truck in the backyard.

I ate my sandwich alone like a recluse and basically went home after that without saying goodbye.
That is how you know you are very drunk.
You see your friends 5 feet away. And you slink out the place like a dirty little miscreant.
When I say that in my mind I picture my head on Golloms body. With long blonde hair and shiny lip gloss. Oh my god Halloween inspiration. Actually no I can't because I've been planning to dress as Popeye for like 2 years.


I yam what I yam.

I woke up yesterday a little bummed about my drunk dial from the cab, which is becoming all too predictable with one person in particular. Some people you really can't help drunk dialing because they let you get away with way too much shit from the start. So I think mostly I call/text this person A) to get a reaction and B) because for some reason I assume he will forgive me and not judge me for being a stupid lush.
I suppose that is a hidden compliment to him, I am full of those.
Its so secretive without names I love it, its like a game. Only one where I will definitely lose because I'm sitting here blogging about it. I am so self depricating about the fact that I have a blog. Shame Shame!

Anyway. yesterday.

I went out to see my mum for a few hours which was really nice and I took Lucy because I am dog sitting her until Sunday night.
I will be honest, she is making me a little crazy because when I want to lay in bed and she doesn't, she makes this weird dog talk sound in her throat and I want to tell her to shut up but she doesn't speak English so we are just not communicating. Even if she had the correct voicebox, she would probably speak Spanish anyway, and I am not confident that I have a the full conversational skills to really chat with her. I'm no slouch, but I also would not label myself as fluent.
We took the ferry which Lucy has done before a number of times but I doubt she remembers it because her brain is the size of a peanut.





I feel like I am just talking for the sake of talking because I am biding my time until I break down and order pizza.
Thats all I am thinking about, honestly.
Pizza and soda.
And now Ninjas.
Ok the ninjas are gone, just pizza and soda.
And also a little bit of horse.
Not to eat, to look at.
I just really love horses.

So yeah it was nice to see my mum and my brother, came back here to the city to get ready to get to see a show at Irving Plaza.

Also, my most Jewish friend called me just as I was about to get into the shower to tell me he was stopping by.
Goes like this, "Hey Kris Im commin ovah"
"Wait 20 minutes I was just about to shower, why do you always call when I am about to get naked?"
"You are always about to get naked"

This is a very true statement.
So B comes over and acts amazingly weird, makes little to no sense, and gets sexually assaulted by Lucy.


She was very attracted to his moose knuckle.

Then we ate tuna sandwiches, and B let me know he was bummed he forgot about the show that night which I was so luckily attending. He also let me know I am looking especially youthful and fresh lately.
Which is true I am.
The secret is this:



I am not the kind of girl whos like "ooooohhhh prooooooduct!"
I actually hate the WORD product as well as the idea that anything can make you look more beautiful just by applying a miniscule amount to your face.
I'm not going to get all into it, but this shit really seriously is a tiny miracle.

What show did I go to?
You want to know I can smell it.



Disco came back from the decaying dead. Somehow it does not smell like total shit either.

Jiwon has a friend in the band she grew up with in Hawaii, which is just another example of how crazy New York City is. They both end up here, one on stage, the other in the audience dancing and sweating.
The crowd at the venue was super geigh. How geigh? I saw a cross dressing man who looked exactly, to a tee, like Sheneneh Jenkins.


How is their not a better picture of such a cultural icon?
Its like not being able to find a decent picture of Marilyn Monroe.

Basically, the drinks were overpriced, I got into two fights (one with a total homobitch, one with an old beard who should have been at home resting her tired feet), I spilled vodka all over myself, I was surrounded by the smell of expensive cologne and armpits, and my eardrums nearly blew it.
It was, in short, fantastique.
Jiji and I danced and felt the tooootal vibes of the gaaaaaaaalaxy and watched balloons float around, and reveled in the presence of at least 4 very serious Voguers.
The horn section could probably elicit a riot if taken to the streets. The transvestite lead singer Nomi is a fucking HOT BITCH if I ever saw one. She has made some decent music previously solo but I love her with this band. She has a great wig and somehow managed a costume change and shakes her fake boobs like nobodys business.
Look see.










Don't need drugs when theres a disco ball.

Strangely, you can not tell from those pictures that this was the most energetic show ever.


Not from last night, from Studio B, but you should watch it if you care to see how great they are

Jiji was wearing these amazing shorts that were originally full on black leather Hammer jammies.



But she hemmed them up short and she looked pretty dreamy if you ask me.
What a fashion plate.

I really like Jiwon because she laughs at my jokes all the time and she is a spiritual little thing.
We ate some Japanese food around 1 am which was delish and I hoped the asshole Long Island kids at the table next to us would get arrested for being drunk in public or get their cars impounded or something.
I DID NOT really like them

I took too many cabs this week.
And I can no longer hold off on the glory of pizza.
The end.