Am I going to die? No, you're not going to die.

OK hey loser whatchu doin?
Oh nothing just sitting on my bed listening to Vashti Bunyan thinking about what is a good meal to cook for one.
Also counting the seconds until Netflix delivers Six Feet Under Season 1.

Really? Could you feel any more Cathy?
Yes because Crimson and Clover just came on shuffle and I just looked over at my bedside table and realized this is whats on it:
1. paperback copy of The Golden Compass.
2. A silver box with a painted mare and colt on the top.
3. a tall glass of beddytime water for when I get parched.
4. a biscotti scented candle.
5. a tiny notebook for writing notes to myself.

Wow.
I. am. a. pussy.

I feel like I should at least have a switchblade until the mattress to even things out.

But I've warned everyone close to me; I'm going through quite a spell here.
I;m having long conversations about the hotness of Jeff Bridges despite the fact that hes nearly 60. Then watching the Door in the Floor.
(if you wanna borrow it, holler, because its amazing.)

Hey Vicki Vale great job with that swift divorce from Alec Baldwin.
Jesus it still makes me sad to think of.
One minute you're Batmans chick and the next minute your crying into your gin scratching your facelift scar tissue.

Really to be honest with myself, that is me in 20 years.

If you want, you could watch something for me.
its the greatest song of all time.

I like white people I like reggae I like heartbreak I like the idea of slow dancing with yourself like a crackbaby in a dark empty bar.
All truthies.
This shit was made for just such a scenario.



Please peep the jukebox jab around 1:40mins.
Actually homeboy reminds me of Corey Haim. I love it so much.
Its all so terribly underrated.

New topic.
Fact: My favorite song to sing at karaokaaaaay! is Mr Big's ear abusing ballad "To Be With You"
It is in my perfect key.
I have what would be equivalent to a sissy man's voice.
I am a good singer, not doubting that.
Good as in entertaining and sincere.
And never terrified of any and all laughter, muffled or otherwise.
It is also Chiara's fav.
I actually think we have duo-ed it.

Sometimes when I smoke a cigarette I smell one of two things.
Bacon.
Or fish water.

Welcome to my brain on beer and an empty stomach.
I want to poll my confidants...
would it be supes nast if I went back to doing TaeBo and brought back the Madonna circa Ray of Light physique?
It doesn't seem to get much love to be honest.

Yes I did TaeBo.
Often.
Judgement will get you nowhere but Hatersville.

Also there are some days like today, where I post a blog and then say to myself, "why would anyone sit here reading this?"
Then I wonder if anything I ever say is funny or smart or meaningful then I get confused about the reality that we create to make ourselves not disappear.
Deep like squid filled waters.

Another fact:
I have found that two things are dangerous to do with men if you don't intend on sleeping together.
Watching movies.
And touching eachothers feet.




(nice feet)