Riductio ad Absurdum

Today was one of those days where I totally hate every choice I have made in my life that got me where I am.
I'm at work feeling like I absolutely suck at the one thing I've ever stuck with, which is taking care of kids.
Suddenly here I am arguing with a fucking six year old, like yes, for sure, I am quitting my job and moving away. With immediacy.

Two days ago, I was at the Hayden Planetarium watching Cosmic Collisions. Crying and smiling. As Robert Redford is narrating the tale of how one day the Milky Way will swirl and dance with Andromeda, and the gases and dust and masses of planets, asteroids, stars, moons, all of it will become one thing.
Billions of years from now.
Yes that shit makes me smile and cry at the same time. And literally my internal voice was like, oh so Milky Way and Andromeda are like the larger version of me and my soul mate??? (yet to meet)
I swear to go thats what I said in my mind. I am losing it. Thats the point.

So yeah, two days ago I was hopeful today I'm pissed.
Story of the hurricane.
Which is weeeeeeird because TODAY, June 2nd is actually the new moon, which typically brings a refreshing positivity to my crap existence.

Wanna know about it anyway?
Here go.

New Moon in Cancer, which by the way occurs at 7:19 pm EST, so basically right around now as I'm typing.



The annual union of the Sun and Moon in watery Cancer returns us to our roots. It's an emotional cocktail of memories, both good and bad. Let yourself be carried by what you sense inside because motion can purify even the darkest waters. Drink deeply from this stream for it will enrich the present and fuel your aspirations for the future. Nostalgic Venus, the planet of love, is close to the New Moon, sweetening us with images of romance and beauty to sip slowly and share with tenderness.


Um, I'll tell you what I'm sipping on. Its a vodka soda.
And I am not sipping slowly or tenderly.

Maybe in an hour I will feel practically reborn, who knows.
I do feel romantic though, I won't lie about that.
Any takers?
Nah I'm Playing my schedule is totes full in that arena.

Wait I just lied again, there is no one being romantic with me, at least I don't think thats what you call it.
RomantDick.

Sorry Mom.
You know who I am at this point.
Ugh.

Wait I think I have some visuals.
Not of THAT!
Of bullshit.



Hello street art?
Or what?
I don't care I like it a lot.
I wonder if its true.
If so, buses are supes expenz.


Not naming names or anything, but I know a 38 year old man who buys "sticky pests" from the little toy dispensers outside of bodegas.
And asks me for change to get multiples.
This is Grenouille.
I am keeping him.
Hes mine now.
I'm not gonna lie, I do the same shit.
Except I go for the temporary tattoos, not the sticky pests.
I applied one of a red stallion to said grown man, so if you check him on the street, be aware, its not real.
But hes so gay it might as well be.


Thats why I like hanging out.
Sticky pest #2, ladybug LED keychain (broken at time of purchase), yoohoo, donuts, weed device.
Should I be making a joke, or do you just want to handle that on your own?



You all have seen this picture before I know.
Just want to put it up and say congrats to Livvy for getting it in some big time German mag.
I forget which one, if you really wanna know ask her.
Jesus.
My tan lines are preposterous.


Hey my drink is nearly empty.
And Sam is on the bus on her way here.
OK yes, the day is looking as though it will improve.

I am totally full of shit and I am comfortable with that.

Fuck Em.

(shout out to Jiwonji)