I've been beating myself up something serious for not working, for not partying, for not doing much of anything.
I mean its nice to say, "yeah, you know I've been doing me...painting, cleaning, eating, drinking, reading, hanging out with my cats, sleeping, listening to music..."
I find when I say this kind of stuff, the person I'm telling says they wish that's what they were doing.
But I've been treating it like torture really.
I hate not working.
(having no money is really the balls)
And I hate sleeping til noon.
Its weird and it makes me stay up til 5am.
And when you're not partying whats the point of being awake at 5am?
But today I feel a lot better.
And I realized something huge.
If I could be anywhere, it would be on a beach with Dennis Wilson, circa Pacific Ocean Blue.
If I had that thing from Vanilla Sky where you could get frozen and dream whatever you want forever i might choose that. Dennis and me. On a beach. Minus that whole Charles Manson thing.
I mean, in reality, I would choose someone I know I actually love, but that is officially none of your bees.
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