Please stop taking your clothes off.

I am back in the city after an evening of Jersey debauchery.
I don't remember much after about midnight but I have hilarious flashes of fighting, nudity, yelling, and duh. booze.

So I decided yesterday while I was at work that I wanted to head out to my mums and Steph kindly agreed to come with.
She fits in well amongst my creepy high school friends. Its kinda perfect.
So we had the worst cab driver ever and Steph yelled at him a lot which made me laugh but also a little sad. We almost missed our ferry. That would not have been rad because yesterday was torrential downpour day and not time to be stuck at a pier.

I also came up with the idea that all gypsy cab drivers should only be addressed as "Gypsy."
Example: "Hey Gypsy get off the god damn phone and drive"

So the boat was good times, super rocky. We shared a 6 dollar beer. That wasn't that cool.

Nicole and Murph picked us up and come over and it was drink time. When we got to my moms house Michelle was already standing in my kitchen being weird and Eddie was taking a shit. Natch.


This is what a hilarious lesbian buys at the liquor store.

We played cards a lot and I drank shots which is so old school its not even funny.
I was wasted within the hour.


The beginning of the end my friend.
Also I was wearing Berels shirt. Which fits me like a glove, unlike him. Bit Snug.

Me and Steph ate lots of Pringles and I think they should change the catch phrase from from once you pop you can't stop to "empty the tube!!!" In the commercial, an extremely annoying guy would yell that with his face super close to the camera.


Fuck you Tiff.

So yeah I really love drinking games and I loved it when JJ came over wearing a leopard coat and a 2Pac tshirt.


Jeylan told us makiage is the Turkish word for makeup.
Hella cultured.

I loved it when Zack and Teddy came over too. But the weren't wearing funny things. Just saying funny things.

These things happened:

1. I ended up rapping over a Mase song about people who speak Yiddish
2. Eddie named Stephanie Tiff. Then she named him Lenny.
3. I got naked playing strip Spoons.



4. Eddie wore my bra and broke it.
5. Steph asked in all seriousness if you're allowed to drink and drive in jersey.
6. Dance party. inside and outside.

Toughnasty.
7. Teddy wore my mums sass coat

8. Teddy and I boxed in the kitchen.
9. It rained.
10. I started to forget things and I now wish I could remember because I'm pretty sure they were all hilar.


Jeeves.


Lucy you slutbag.


Yeah, thats cool. I'll just use this thing cause it totally makes sense to dump all that pot right in here and give this horn mouthpeice sitch a blowie.

This morning my mum came home to a repulsive mess, boys on the couch with no blankies, the majority of her food ravaged, and probably a shitty smell.
She gave us a bag of bagels and went to Atlantic City with her boyfriend.
Shes big time like that.

On the ferry back I saw a guy I used to be in love with.
Hes still a tiny dream.
Too bad his girlfriend is such a hag.

Alls I know is, its time to go watch Keanu Reeves movies with Katie.
Score.