Fam II

Yo.
Fam is fun no shit yea?
My brother Sean is 18 years old. He has a Led Zep den filled with super late 60s shit. Samma shot some photos in there in front of the giant Jim Morrison poster. Nudes obv. I'm willing to bet Sean hates the idea of that.
Sean hates me because I'm his sister. No big deal I'm over it.
Sometimes my sister hates me because I'm not married and I'm a wackadoo.
It's crazy to be the wilin 20 something in NYC with nothing to show and a dumb nieve outlook.
Truth is, I love my people always.
This blog isn't that funny so don't be bummed.
It's just something that needs to be out there.
Tell your blood you love them as much as you can.
The whole "life is short" thing may be total propaganda but what isn't?
Love you fam.

One time my sister threw a giant tape dispenser at my head. She has also dumped a pitcher of juice on my head. Wait, then again, she has also barred me from her life for telling her not to get married.
Another time my brother told me I'm a whore dyke and locked me out in the cold. He also yelled at me many a time for embarrassing him at his little high school swarees.
The rad thing is, I laugh and I know it's just talk. There is no way to say how amazing it is to sit in your mums kitchen drinking vodka and laughing about some old shit only yall know.
Like that time we __________________
and that time we ___________________
ahahahaha you wish that shit was public.
Nothing like an inside joke to make people feel peanut butter and jealz!
Any of you reading this now, you're my fam too thats the truth.
Heart balloons and drinks for evrybaaaady.
Gettin an tappa theeeat asap.


PS jerseys whack!
New Years Eve Slick Rick see you there suckas

This is my home.

My prayers have been answered and I am back in Chinatown where there is beautiful silence.
Except for Chinamen loogie hock sounds.
I love my home. I love my bed. I love this city. Wipe a tear from my eye.


Couple things.

I hate Christmas. Christians. And ham for dinner. Ew.

I am very excited for New Years Eve for once. I think I deserve a midnight makeout. If anyone does it's me. Slurp.
And I've got a couple candidates in mind WIIIIIIIIIIIINK. Don't tease the animals.

Sidenote time.
One of my best dear darling cuteness friends has returned from Mexico to save my life. Not really, to work for Reuters big timmmaaaahhhhh. So yay for that. Shes supposed to be my twin but lately when I say that people give me the youre a retard eyeball and go, "ummmmmm yeeeaaaahhh not really?"
You be the judge.


Hearts and balloons.
I can't wait for her to move in and do things that will make me laugh.
And bogart joints. Jaja!
Aherm KATIE ORLINSKY. Take a look at her website she is pretty genius. Yay!


So back to the issue at hand. the craziness is finally over and here is what I learned from the holiday season 2007:
1. Me. Plus my sister. Plus her husband. plus Scott. Equals mayhem? Apparently.
I think it was the Rex Harrison hat that set it off.




2. My sister drinks alot. still funny after all these years.
3. i need my own camera.
4. there is someone i secretly really want to see for the New Year. (blush)
5. I love seeing Nicole and Murph in all of their lesbionic glory.
6. Missing lexapro for 3+ days may kill you
7. I don't want a dog
8. Roommates are like musical chairs. More on that as it develops.
9. I still love vodka sodas.
10. My mother still has not learned how to read a Christmas list. It will not matter if I put that one desired gift in ALL CAPS LIKE THIS********** with arrows. In red. I still will not get it because god thinks those things are funny.

God loves jokes just like me.

Holy Spirit forev.

Most importantly, my niece is the cutest baby ever to live and I want to spend the rest of my life snuggling her fat head.

Rack. Ball.

Rack em rack rack em.

The Night Before Christmas

And all through the house, the fucking dog is freaking out and the behbeh is crying.
And my sister is reading that god damn book to herself outloud.
Awesome.
Thanks to my dear boy Professor Alger for that creepy post.
I realize it's very cryptic.
Tough break.

It's Christmas and though I am a scrooge, I think maybe blogs are to be put aside.
To be continued.
Clark Griswold forever.

swamiwon

this is cool cool, i blog evey day...
where did you come from... over thier, calll ben @ piers@austin-ents.com
this is the other day...
http://www.scottalger.com/ezac_yale.html

summerdays and summer nights...

Courtesy of scott alger .com

Brule's Rules!

Why didn't you thinka that

Cray Cray.

Seriously.

I get these visions of myself when I wake up after a night out.
Why did you molest the "Ryan Gosling in 20 years" bartender? (because he was a piece)
Why did you annoy the shit out of that cop? (because you like trouble)
Why did you spent that money? (because it burns holes in my purse until I get rid of it)
Why did you say those things? (this question I ask myself more than fathomable)

Why. Exactly. don't know.

Went to see a band called Aloke in Greenpoint last night so Sam could shoot them some more. Ehhhhh. Car service. Brooklyn makes life harder.
This place they were performing at was super weird and I have no idea what it's even there for. There weren't many people there but no big, I was with Sam, and a girl Jess who dates one of the guys in the band. Girl time. Always a treat.
So this band is composed of four precious little bits of genetic success. They are all handsome. How does that work? I don't know or care. It just makes a girl feel fuzzy inside. If you don't get the whole "girls thinking guys in bands are cool" thing, then I just don't know what to say. It's a law of god. I didn't make this shit up.
Anyway, who doesn't love live music?
They were good. If you want to know yourself. aherm.
http://www.myspace.com/aloke
Hilar. Drummer. Face.

As usual, Sam took more pictures than imaginable and people like that.
We hung out, I drank too much (REALLY?! NO.)
Don't die of shock.
This is when I decided that I was in love with the bartender. I had to let him know this by telling him how much I hated his tattoos and by asking him how old he is. When he said 38 I said "Do you live with your mom?"
He totally liked it.
Provocation is sexahhhh.


I'm not even going to get into how obnoxious I was at this bar, it's embarrassing.

We went to some other bar etcetera etcetera. Nothing happened there. Isn't that the way it goes? You have to go to someones personal residence to have maximum funnage.
Went to Jess and Paul's apt which is super cute and spacious.
We took slumber party pictures just the ladies somewhere in there.

Then we did drug talk which consists of saying
"You're so awesome"
"We're totally friends"
"I'm having so much fun, seriously"
Like if you didn't throw in the seriously part, no one would believe you.
Girls are amazing that way.
Anyway, everyone was happy and it was retardedly fun.
Yay for friends.
I recall trying to teach Christian how to dance pepaw style, then Sam yelling at me for always having to lead.
That statement falls into so many truisms of my life.
Then she tried to lead me and kept shouting, "Put your HEAD. on my SHOULDER. Do it."

The Beautiful People. Then run the world we are just living in it.


Boys are fun and girls are fun.
Boys are girls together are the most fun.

Coming home at 5 am is horrible.
The End.

Andys!

I have few great fears.
One that I openly discuss is colossal squid. Another is walking to the bathroom to pee in the night and being attacked by a gigantic wolf in the hall.
Two very unnecessary phobias.
Another fear is boredom. Done and done, we all think being boring or being amidst the boring is horrific. Nuff said on that.
But seriously, when I go to get a haircut...i am AFRAID. I really honestly think the hairdresser will just forget that I said ONE INCH and go to town on my mermaid woodland creature mess. Then I will have to do two things:
1. berate the hairdresser until they look like they will cry.
2. start crying myself AS I berate them, then uncontrollably flee from said salon.

Point is, I want to be a girl-boy. People have been doing it for so long. i really wish I was free enough to know my hair doesn't make me. Nor does my lady ass (which is awesome, I have to say)
If I don't wear mascara to a bar, people will not throw up upon first sight of me.
If I want to, I should wear boys shoes because I like feeling like a horse clomping around.
Being sporty and hilarious and smart should not be words I am afraid to use when I describe myself.
Historically, humans have always been enamored with girl-boys and boy-girls.
Androgyny is by far the most beautiful thing in the universe.
I have always loved a man with long viking hair and twinkly eyes. Grr.
And girls with strong little boy bodies and fitted hats. Tssss!
It's in our blood for sure.
Alchemists, Christians, Kabbahlists, Hindus, Ancient Greeks, get real. They knew.




Ancient pepaw times aside, look at fucking pop culture. That horrid shit spewing fagbag Chris Crocker became famous just because he has frosted hair and wears mad lip gloss. Guhh. People just love looking at those things, it's amazing.And if you can bear to admit it, that bitch is hot. HeShe looks like a fucking retarded Skipper doll in only the best way.
And Crocker is like the margarine of the androgyny tasting tray.
Totally nasty cheap processed boring waste.
American culture has seen some godly andys traipsing around.
David Bowie, Annie Lennox, Mick Jagger, Prince, Grace Jones, etcetera etcetera.
Whatever, just look at this random kid. I have no idea what that is, but it is breaking my heart in 400 hundred pieces of cuteness fragments.


And my personal favorite, the perfect contemporary hot bitch:
(getting. on. tappa. yas.)

Obv Sam West photography.
Shut up all of you, I know, it's getting old but she's seriously a piece and a half.

In conclusion, this was all very gay of me.
xo.

I'll be here all night.

I wear a lot of Axe body spray.
But I live in a black neighborhood so I guess I wear a lot of Ask body spray.

BA DUM CHHHH.


If you want to know what love sounds like listen here.

FAM.

My family is amazing.
I had dinner with my Uncle Brian. He is an actual leprechaun. He exists somewhere between life and death, gold and shit, real and unreal. It's pretty unfathomable.

He came in from Hotlanta for the day for work, and kindly put aside some time for me in the dirty dirty LES.
We always have such a lovely time just talking and laughing and wondering what will happen to us.
He's an earth sign too, a Capricorn, and I think thats what makes it all so excellent. He's a genius with booze in his blood just like me, and it makes life so utterly strange to think...am I bugging from the bottle, or is shit REALLY this intense??
He told me a story about when I was just a wee one and i sat on his lap and he knew we were buddies for life.
Thats what Im talkin bout.

He just published a book about the universe. It's called Small Things by Mr Brian Hoffman. He gave me the first copy as a gift. When I opened it, the first thing I thought was...oh my god....Electric Company comes alive. Also, I am not alone. Serio. Big time.









This shit is so epic, I'm not even sure how to describe it. This man is one of my greatest inspirations, and my confidant.
Anyway, we went to get some drink and dinner at Good World around the corner. Stoli for me, and red wine for my fav uncle.
We talked about the struggle of the intelligent. I was pleasantly surprised to find out next year we may very well be traveling to Reykjavik together for a delve into the new and undiscovered. What a doll.
PS I'll be begging for a place to stay, Jette and my baby girl AURORA xoxoxoxoxo
Life is about change and the comfort of the known all at the exact same time. Get used to it, it is quite unavoidable my friends.
Love you fam.
Gettin on tappa yas asap.